Why do People Stare?

Why do people have the need to stare? Not just take a quick look or glance, but flat out stare. I see people doing this all the time when I'm out in public, particularly to me. Now you might think this is just all in my mind and that I'm imagining these things but I know that I'm being stared at. It's not hard to notice when some is looking directly at you while their eyes follow as you move. Then you might say that it's the way I look or act that is attracting the attention, but this shouldn't be the reason either. I look like the average person, not too ugly but not too beautiful either. I dress like the average person, jeans, t-shirt, etc, in normal colors. I walk like the average person, nothing to crazy or unusual that would draw attention. And these people don't just stare with a neutral facial expression, they look as if they think I'm the biggest mistake of the human race. I have no idea what could drive someone to look at a complete stranger with that kind of expression.

The other day I saw someone staring at me as if they wanted to kill me. At first I wasn't completely sure that they were looking at me, but when I took a second glance I saw that their eyes were still locked on me and the closer they got the angrier they looked. I had no idea who this person was, I had never seen them before in my life so I was totally confused as to why they were staring at me like that. Then when the person finally walked passed me they actually turned their head to continue staring at me. At this point I burst out laughing, the look this idiot had on their face was just too funny, this caused them finally turn away and rush off. Now that kind of thing isn't normal, usually it's just 5 to 10 seconds of staring, but still it happens to me all the time.

So why is that these people insist on staring? This is just a theory, but I think that they do because they are insecure about themselves. They need to know what everyone else looks like in order to make sure they look better or to make sure that they fit in. Then again maybe I'm wrong, maybe they just stare to be assholes. But one of these days when I finally say screw it to the world I'm going to fulfill a dream that I've had for a long time, I'm going to gouge someone's eyes out. I'm going to teach the first person I see staring at me a lesson and permanently blind them. So word to the wise, if you stare, stop doing it cause you never know when the next person you stare at might just finally lose it.

244 comments:

1 – 200 of 244   Newer›   Newest»
Natalie said...

I know! I absolutely hate it when ppl stare for no reason! I mean, more than the normal few second thing. I don't understand how they don't realize that they are obviously staring and ppl can tell lol. Oh well, what can ya do eh? Here's something to brighten your day a little bit, try it out - it's a fun quiz =) http://www.quizlee.com/web-lingo/

Freddie Sirmans said...

Just browsing the internet. Very, very interesting blog.

Valentina said...

Look at it this way: maybe they find you incredibly attractive, or interesting. Maybe you have a familiar face.

Or maybe you're just being paranoid. lol

Brudelein said...

I think people stare at others just because theyre idle. Ive noticed that people tend to stare at others when they have nothing to do like in the subway or resting at the park. Ive noticed this because whenever im in the subway or whatever i just glance around and eventually my eyes meet the eyes of some other person who is just glancing around too. So people just stare at other people, those who stare get stared at aswell.

Ive thought about this too, because whenever the eyes of two persons meet theres like a series of scenarios which may arise, normally one of the two persons looks away but, sometimes they get engaged in a sort of challenge to see who can hold their stare for longer which is quite childish and i find those challenges really entertaining though they may be taken as an aggression. I live in Mexico City, here people cannot spook you by threatening to sue you of assault or whatever, so physical confrontations are, if not common, most likely to happen in a public space so i need to choose my battles.

Now, i hate when you get distracted and suddenly you glance around and theres someone staring directly at you. I have a couple of theories aswell, maybe people noticed that you are looking their way so they stare at you which is likely cause i do that myself. Havent you ever had the feeling that someones looking at you, then you look stare at them and they werent at all, like they were just reading something above youre head...? that happens to me and i realize it has its amount of paranoia aswell.

Now, the persons that are obviously staring at you and that appear to be doing it for a while, those are the bastards i hate cause youre like "wtf r u looking at". Whenever this happens to me i do the following: i never lock my eyes with theirs cause if you do that you lose, instead i immediately look away but not entirely, keep the bastard in your peripherical view and when youre certain he has look away stick your eyes on him and make sure he looks back at you. Now when he looks back at you you can either immediately look away or engage in a challenge. I personally prefer looking away in what i call the "outstaring tecnique"

When you get this kind of stare is hurtful cause u feel like a bug crushed in the ground. The outstaring tecnique is just a stand for you to take so they get to feel like a bug instead of you. Whenever youre in a public place always be on your guard, try to spot those bastards who could likely stare at you at some point (you know how to spot them). So if they do stare at you, you will be one step ahead and youre the one staring and appearing to be doing it for a while. Just as your eyes meet look away, and never stare at him again cause you have already won and theres no need to give him a rematch.

Its a lot of fun. I know its stupid but if it troubles you as much as you say it does, you might aswell have some fun with it. Whenever i applied the outstaring tecnique...man its so funny to watch their esteem spilled on the floor. Remember if you cant beat them join them...

Most of the people who stare at you, i think, are not making fun of you, theyre just wondering wot do you do and why are you doing there and all that stuff, cause its wot people do, comparing each other and thinking about their own lives...

phomalhaut said...

People do this in my opinion because they got nothing else going on in their heads and they also feel the need to be looked at. They need to see their reflection in someone else's eyes. I myself make it a point
not to but I can still feel it and notice it with my peripheral and it gets me annoyed to no end. Sometimes it won't be someone attracted who is looking often times I've noticed other women who do it with a look of comparing or judging especially when I am with my husband I notice we get more looks when we are together because people are gross and feel better if they get a look back from someone who looks taken. Also people do this out of boredom I know this because I've asked people and they say people are interesting and it entertains them to watch others alone or when interacting with others and all I can think is these
idiots see everything as a reality tv show and I ain't here to entertain them. People got to start using there heads, stop being rude and grow the f*ck up.

Manny said...

I looked this up on the internet and it sent me to your blog. I am curently having this problem and I never had it before. I am 38, I have been living in this town for about 5 years now. Was a white neighborhood and now its all black. I am hispanic. I notice, I can be taking a nap at the park and they litterally yell, HEY! I look toward that direction and there he is, a stranger just looking at me.
I am one of those who walks with his hands in his pockets and eyes to the ground. never make eye contact, unless called upon. I mean even when im getting gas or even the grocery store. I noticed its not all blacks, You have the ones that smile and wave but then you have the ones that go out of their way. I have been walked up to and one of them acted like he was going to kick me, but stopped. They have walked up to me as many as 3 right at me. It getting old. I am begining to think its racial. When they call out at me, I do look, expressionless, but tend to look away and go about my bussiness after a 10 second stare. I noticed they will call me again but I dont look. The nighborhood is now about 80% black 18% hispanic, 2% mixed. I would like to know why they do this. Are they trying to run us out of our neighborhoods? They have litterally walked to the middle of the street and stop my car and just look at me. When I am leaving for work, they have parked in the middle of the street and there looking at their rear view mirror to see what im going to do. Its bothering me now. I could feel the tention in the air. I could honestly begin to see why, racial hate groups get formed. For protection. I have not been called names, just stares, and a couple of incidents where they come right at me like they are going to jump me, I just stand there and they come right up to me, eyes focused on me. I dont want any problems. I know something bad is going to happen soon. Or maybe its a black thing. Could someone let me know. Thank You.

Hold Sway said...

Manny, I think your problem differs with the nature of this blog. Your situation seems to be more of a racial thing; being targeted by these guys and actually being taunted and threatend in a way. My only advise is to stay low you know, i mean, never give them a chance and never engage in an eye-lock with them blokes in the knickers...

And to E.J.T., yeh It happens to me too, you know but I've noticed that I'm not the only one being stared at, I see blokes that got nothing else to do but stare at everything around them you know, so whenever you bump into one of these mofos you'll get stared at, it's what they do. What i do is stare back at them you know, make em feel the heat you know...

E.J.T. said...

I find that sometimes racial differences can lead to staring. It seems to me people just have a habit of noticing at something different, and there is no problem with that. It just gets irritating when they continue to stare after the initial look.

However, I've found that staring back isn't always the best policy. Some of these people that stare are looking for a confrontation so sometimes it is best to let it go, just depends on if you're in the mood for a fight.

krisel said...

I had the same incidence like you, some people stare like they're going to kill me especially when I'm in public... I think they're just insecure or asvalentina said they find you incredibly attractive.

btw, thanks for visiting my site and for the compliments

Jennifer said...

I have some builders up my road, and every time I leave the house they literally put all their tools down and just stand and watch me walk/drive by. I am used to be stared at as I am blonde/slim etc, but when I can't even leave my house without it, it gets me down. I couldn't even think of washing my car or anything, I'd have an audience the entire time. What should I do, maybe wave at them or even approach them and ask what they're looking at?

E.J.T. said...

Jennifer- That's a tough situation your in. Luckily for me, I'm not a female so I've never had to deal with something like that.

My advise is to just try and ignore it. Confrontation probably isn't the best idea because that usually only encourages people unless your an aggressive, threatening, in-your-face kind of person. Also looking on the bright side might help; better to be attractive and get attention, than to be ugly and ignored.

Nickster said...

People stare because they are insecure, judgmental, or in some way surprised or shock. The human race is curious yet scared. We HAVE to create labels for people based on sex, race, etc. just so we can feel comfortable and safe in our environment. When people stare most often it is to judge in order to make themselves feel better, prettier, or cockier. Women are the worst, incredibly judgmental. People also stare for fun or if they have nothing better to do which is pathetic. "People watching" as they call it. They are insecure in some way. The only valid reason someone should stare is if they see something bizarre, dangerous, or awe inspiring. At that point they should compliment or react accordingly in such a way that they aren't just staring. In the end, people just need to grow the phuk up and accept themselves and others for WHO THEY ARE! Staring at good looking people is as pretentious as it gets, the more you stare the greater your insecurities and shallowness. My advise would be to stare back and give them the biggest smart ass smile you can.
Cool blog! Peace

E.J.T. said...

Nickster- I couldn't agree more, some truly great advise.

Anonymous said...

It depends on kind of stare, some people stare really in rude way, when they look down on smb and stare like at some interesting animal, I hate it..... And if you are in the foreign country people stare, especialy when they cant guess where are you from. It happens to me, I am a Central Asian girl and look like a mix Asian, and stupid people usually staring trying to guess about my nationality

Pepper said...

Hi Guys,
I'm glad I found this blog, I do find people when I go pump gas staring at me and I don't know what to do, it got to the point to where I get anxiety,I know I'm not being paranoid because as soon I get the feeling someone is looking, I look and there they go staring.It gets to the point where I feel that I want to go over to them and punch them in the face,Here is an example,I went to go pump gas and as soon as I got out of my car some girl was staring ,I notice when I glance and looked away minding my own business thinking nothing of it, then I looked again and she was still staring,she was staring at me through the whole time, that's when she made me fell very insecure,I got some sort of hot pressure in my head and I started getting a head ache, my knees got weak,it's like she knew how to push my insecurity button,
Well. since that day I feel when I go to pump gas someone is staring, and when someone stares at me, my insecurity gets so bad that I have seizures right there so they look even more, ..lol.., the kind that makes me twitch...Maybe I need to go get therapy,but traditional therapy sucks, and I think the best therapy is to talk about with a support group like this.
....It does feel better talking about it here, and it seems ridiculous .How can people be so cruel,
What do you guys think..ooh yeah thanks for the "outstaring tecnique" brudelein,I'll try it out and post it here and let you know how it went, any body know of any other ones?what do you guys think about my situation?
Yours truly
pepper

Anonymous said...

Nothing against Vietnam or Iraqi Vets. They have been to hell and back and I fully support our troops. I have also had my own battles with post- traumatic stress for completely different reasons then a vet would, and I have tremendous sympathy for our vets. But I have had two different Vietnam Vets treat me terribly, and one of them used their post-traumatic stress as a reason for their rude behavior. One of them looks at me like he wants to kill me every time I make eye contact with him and I never did anything to him to make him stare at me with such discontent. To our Vets, I know you probably think I don't have a clue about what it is to be mad as all get out, because I have never gone to war. It would be arrogant for me to say that my level of stress is comparable to a vet, because it is not. But anger is anger, let us love one anther no matter what our circumstances are, and lets lift each other up with ramdom smiles, instead of cold stares. Of course an angry veteran would think I was an arrogant bastard for demanding that they smile, and that I give them something to smile about, like sending our troops home. I want our troops to come home just as much as everyone else.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you all feel. I get stared at all the time. I ask friends why I get stared at and they say its ocs I'm attractive but I know they are lying lol.
Anyway I have said many things to people who are staring at me:

1. do you want a picture?
2. whats up?
3. fuck you
4. get a life
5. i know i must be so gorgeous that you happened to trip over that stone
6. yes you are a munter as well!
7. have I got a TV on my head or soemthing?

Alex said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel!, the other day I went shopping, and a group of girls started staring at me in the food court while I was going to use the washroom and eating my lunch, but they weren't laughing at me or nothing, just giving me freaky glances as they walked by my table, and it even looked like they were trying to read my bag logo once, like cmon, we're not all perfect, and from the looks of it they were DEFINETLY not either! :)

Anonymous said...

Try not to feel so bad about it.
I stare at people all the time. my problem Is that I stare at moving objects. You could compare me to a cat and a peice of string. My eyes go up and down... I hate it. people catch me staring at them and all I can say is ummm... There are no thoughts behind it. I just stare. I'll see some in the corner of my eye and bamb. There I go I'm staring. I would like to know how to stop staring:( If I have no control over it what do I do? stare at the gorund. That doesnt work. I have to look up eventually.

Zen said...

I think if someone is going to stare at me, they should at least smile. I'm amazed at the number of people who lock eyes with me for 3 or more seconds and look angry. Lately I have felt that many Americans are not just angry, but almost boiling over with rage. I sense much hostility from complete strangers. I have been told that I am average looking by some, and I have been told by others that I am attractive. I guess beauty is an opinion, not a fact. Sometimes when I get dirty looks from people, I feel like they are judging my physical flaws. I feel that rude stares are a suttle form a discrimination that often gets minimized by the bullies that give them. A true bully will often deny that he or she is staring in a threatening way, and will try to make the person that they are staring at like they are just being paranoid. I have learned not to lock eyes with the ones who want a "stare down." If someone is trying to stare me down they are probably trying to get a reaction out of me, because, who knows, maybe they get a rise out of it. If I don't give them a reaction, then I feel like I am on the winning end. If I just put a pleasant look on my face and act like I have better things to do then to engage in a staring contest , then I probably won't get confronted by the "rude starer" again the next time I cross paths with them because they know that I'm not going play their little game.

Anonymous said...

Well, my dad would tell me to give them a smile and say "hello".

My mom on the other hand would tell me to say "WHAT?" in a rather rude and condescending way. Just to show them they are being idiotic.


I wish I had inherited the nerves of steel they have though. I avoid confrontation.

*sigh* they are 2 people that can go anywhere and not give a crap about what people think of them. Most others just say they don't care.


Maybe as I get older...

Anonymous said...

I'm looking for some advice please.
One female in my local area stares at me aggressively every time she sees me. I find it very upsetting and intimidating, and I don't know what to do about it. I am a shy person by nature and not confrontational. What should I do - do I stare back and try to outstare her (I would find this very very hard to do), do I avoid eye contact (which is what I usually do after i've noticed she's staring) or something else?
I'm worried if I stared at her that she would 'win', or she would start an argument and I wouldn't have the bottle to answer her back, or she would expect a rematch every time.And I couldn't confront her and ask her why she keeps staring.

Anonymous said...

same to me :( i live in mediteranian country i mean the worst ppl are perfect wannabies and they just stare at me and laugh yeah its true why coz im diffirent im very mixed part nordic part from caucas so everyone have the same question wth im from well i have ppl telling me that im very beateful (sorry fuckup english:]) "exotic" others just laugh at me most of them obese tards , yeah it must be funny to see me i dont know . well the world is perfect no place for me

Andrew said...

I hate it when babies stare at me! It's really creepy...little kids ALWAYS stare at me. I'll be eating lunch in a restaurant and for the full 30 minutes some eerie 3 year old kid will have his/her eyes locked on mine the whole time, and I'm a 19 year old college kid...I mean I know they're just toddlers but...wtf, is there something on my face??? Why don't they stare at someone else? Maybe they like teenagers, idk.

Also my damn cat stares at me for a LONG time and I'm just like "WHAT DO U WANT!!!???"

But yes I get the feeling when walking through campus that quite a few people both girls and guys stare at me and I dunno what it is I'm not ugly nor beautiful, but w/e.

Anonymous said...

i feel just the same. i went on yahoo to search for articles on staring, because i get stared at like if i was a kangoroo or something. will you assholes leave me alone??? staring is wrong! unless you find the person hot!!! but common!! can you let the person breathe? do you want a punch?? bastard!sometimes it makes me wona stay home or wear a mask!

xXbloody-angelXx said...

same with me too,im scene boy and every one just fucking staring at me ,its so annoying seriously guys it make some personality problems uhh ,i dont wanna change my style or somthing ,plz help ,and every time i stare back i stick in fight..HELP ME

Anonymous said...

For The Past Few Monthes I'Am Getting Stare At I Do Not Now Way But It Usally Happens When I Am Walking From Shop To Shop. It Is Only A Few People That Satare At Me For A Few Seconds. How Can I Get People To Stop Staring It Is Getting Very Annoying?

Anonymous said...

I walk through town everyday (after school), and I notice all the women here in Britain always stare at me as I walk past.

I go to an all boys school (unfortunately) and out of my peripherals, I mostly see 2 people staring at me, but when I look at them, they look away/return to their work etc. (the process repeats through the different lessons).

What the f ?

Anonymous said...

You totally read my mind, man (or girl)! My mom and everyone always tells me I'm being paranoid and...doodie doodie blah... I'm just being immature and acting like the whole world revolves around me. But ppl are just jerks for no rational reason like that creep who was giving you the evil look. I try not to stare at anyone because it gets on my nerves and I know how the effects are. Except some people don't know any manners which includes staring as a huge NO NO. Oh well, carry on with what you're doing. That guy deserved the humilation for staring at you like that!

Anonymous said...

I think people stare at you because youre either good looking or freaky looking. People who are really ordinary, you know that guy that looks like everybody else in your town, he doesnt get stared at.

Now, havent you guys ever get immerse in a thought and just stare at something or someone, youre not really analyzing that thing or person, youre thinking whatever it is youre thinking. But then that person notices that youre staring at him, and you have to look away. Now, how does that makes him feel, like crap cause then he starts feeling all the emotions you guys have been listing in this blog, even though you werent actually looking at him, you were just lost in some plot.

I am 20 years old and believe or not, my hair is almost completely white ( natural ) both my parents had it too when they were young, so i get constant stares at my hair, cause i look young but i have the hair of a 60 year old man, lol. The thing is, i have come to accept the fact that people is going to stare at me because of that, at any place, at any country. The thing is that i am not always in the mood for being stared at by complete strangers, so i get really mad sometimes, i have actually confronted a couple of persons, "got a problem!?" they say no, or dont answer, "then stop looking at me you f%&k" that seems to get them out of your sight. Of course theres the possibility that that person kicks the crap out of you, havent happened to me yet.

Its getting really tough for me, cause im going crazy due to the constant staring. when im alone in public i dont really care. But its happening to me at parties where my firends are at, and i dunno, im just chilling having a beer with my friends, but i know someones staring at me i try to keep a cool head, dont wanna make a scene in front of my buddies, but its an awful feeling.

Im losing perspective, cause how to recognize a friendly stare now, maybe a girl is just checking you out, but youre so entangled with these thoughts of low-self esteem that you are not able to socially respond.

Other thing. I know staring is rude, i know it, and for years i didnt care but now, with these constant stares i just cannot handle it anymore, so when im in public i just stare at everybody, in an attempt to make them feel what i feel. Its a paradox i know, becoming what you hate... i dunno.
Great blog.

Anonymous said...

ok here's my issue if anyone wants to help me with this alright. here goes. i am haitian. my parents are from haiti and i was born here. america...
now i don't look different i don't dress differently just a black guy walking down the street. now here is another factor. i have visited a large portion of the usa, and europe for years and depending where i go depends on how many and how hard they stare at me. but everywhere is different i suppose. Now the staring and looking and watching is not like anyone hates me but it is like intrigue, curiosity, or just a general interest in me and my sister. (and what we look like.) i don't do anything or say anything to arouse attention or suspicion. can anyone please tell me any specific reasons why people stare at me. i understand that it has been said that people may be jealous; but i am a little.... ok, really skeptical of that. and i hope its not because i look weird... thank you for reading this article and just regard me as James Lauren.

johngrimm said...

I was intrigued by some of the comments of I've read and I hate to say it but some of you sound too judgmental and are either paranoid or you're just looking too much into the situation. Let me share with you my experience from today about the topic, hence the reason I found this blog.

I was at the subway platform today and I wear contacts but today I forgot to put them in. I thought I had recognized this guy standing about 20ft from me and so I had to squint to make a postive ID. SO this guy stares at me like he's really pissed off and is gonna kill me. Maybe he thought I was doing the same to him. Now I'm East European and Ive been told I have deep cold eyes and a prominent brow ridge. This makes me have an intense look on my face LoL (So Ive been told, but I dont agree) I'm over 6ft and a lean 225lbs and some friends say I look intimitading LoL.. he's maybe half my size and walks over and intentinally gives me the stiff shoulder and looks back and smerks. So I simply smile back and next thing I know he shoves me without even saying a word. I wanted to slug the bastard in the face but instead I just appologized and he walked away. LoL.

I think maybe in this case the person was threatened by me to the point he reacted violently, this hasnt happened before but I know people get intimitated by me even though I cant help it. All it was a misunderstanding and I think maybe he looked too much into the situation as is the case with many incidents with many people.

All I can say is people might stare out of boredom, admiration, or they simply cant see.. lol.

So before you start jumping to conclusions just breath and think!

Anonymous said...

johngrimm when somebody half your size has the nerve to challenge you, he is either carrying a weapon or psichotic...or both.

Anonymous said...

Hey, this topic rocks!
I hate being stared at too!
I'am a 23yo Africain woman, 5'5 alright shape but dark skinned.
I noticed that everywhere I go, I feel people's eyes on me, I dont know why, maybe I'm just paranoid, but it's kind of become an obsession. Whenever I'm about to go out,I'm thinking like "oh man,here we go again,stupid people are gonna stare at me!" and I have like hot flashes whenever they do LOL. so what I do now is if I'm in the bus or the subway, I always bring a magazine, or something to do that will make me look busy, and avoid me to look at people and get mad! Make them feel stupid and ignore them, and if they really insist, give them a mean look that will make them feel dumb and ashamed of themselves!!! Good luck to all of you!!!

tashi said...

yea gr8 topic.,.omfg,.i thought i was da only 1 having des sort of prob.,becoz.,of des prob.,m having difficulties,.coping wid stranger lyk.,i hav to seat.,on subway.,or bus.,i feel very uncomfortable.,,.n m always nervous.,m 5'8.,asian.,guy., rytnow i live in taiwan.,since i came hea.,i feel lyk everyones staring at me.,most of them by gals..,n somtym by boys.,as well.,i feel very uncomfortable.,m a shy guy.,i always.,put my eyes on ground wen i walk.,,.,becoz of dat i don want to go topublic places.,as well as restaurant.,,.i dress up simpl3,.m nt dirty,i mean i always take bath,.,bt don no3.,y.,dey stare at me.,i no3.,becoz.,i can c.,.dem.,saring me more dan 5 seconds.

Anonymous said...

People who stare with malice in their eyes for no good reason are jealous. Plain and simple. I know from experience.

Anonymous said...

Hi, this is blog is great. I thought I was the only one with this problem. I go out somewhere and I have this innate ability to draw stares. I'll be out minding my own business and I'll look up or in a different direction and someone is staring. I can't understand why?I'm an average looking guy, have a girlfriend, normal. yet I always have someone staring. Damn it pisses me off. one time I worked at this place where I worked across the aisle where this dude kept staring at first I ignored it but got sick of it and started ataring at him. It turned into a staring match. He turned his gaze away first, but i was so mad I kept staring and it pissed him off so much he came over to me and said,"What the f%&* are you staring at? I told him you started it, so I'm playing your game. LOL he told me to "Stop staring at me"!! I sternly told him " You stop staring and I'll stop also. He never stared at me again. And we were almost throwing punches.

Anonymous said...

Dude! I think just the same thing, I'm a normal though very very unlucky 13 year old.

So i was on the train home from my school, and people just kept staring at me. You know you guys keep saying to just keep staring at that person, so what happens if everyone is staring at you? I mean you cant possibly stare at everyone!! ok, i can't believe those people made me think i smell, i SO do not smell, even though im sweating quite abit, i had to go to the toilet and start sniffing myself all over and find out i dont have a bit of a B.O.

Man, was i mad at them, what the hell was their problem? I mean they cant all just started looking around cause they're bored and found out i'm one interesting object to be stared at!

I assure you i look perfectly normal, not disfigured or on a crutch! uuurgh, dont they know its RUDE to stare.

plus i was wearing my dull school uniform, who the hell looks attractive in a school uniform
And i ain't ugly or have purple-green hair, even my school skirt is super long cause i bought the wrong size -.-

now they say people stare cause they feel insecure, now they stare at me, I feel insecure!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad this blog is up, because I was telling my sister about how often this happens, i was riding the train, going to an interview, and these two girls(they knew each other or maybe they knew each other, if you know what i mean) were directly across from me,(I'm black, they are white(not that it makes a difference-I love all people-this is just for discription purposes)one of them was giving me the most evil look, moving her head from side to side I just looked away because the interview was my priority(and i didn't feel like being locked up(I'm a Christian now but back in the day, i would have fought you, then robbed you) and after about a 3 minutes I happen to glance near they're direction, and the same ***itch was staring, (i wasn't staring over at them directly, just way down the other end of the train at the signs) giving the same evil look as before, I wanted to say wof, if you keep starring i'm going to kick your a**, but i didn't say anything, i just got up at my stop, groped the metal pole harshly and ran my nails down the lenghn of it(Lol-it makes the most weirdest sound-It was my way of saying, this could happen to your face. she looked kind of scared after that(Lol) I'll close my eyes next time and pray about it(for those of you who stare at people rudly for no reason: Get the Lord in your Life, so you don't have to meet him sooner then exspected.

Anonymous said...

Well, I know definitely that I have a "staring at other people" problem. But that's mostly because I've noticed those people staring at me! I've tried ignoring them for at least a week, and when I look at them again after a long time, I see them staring RIGHT AT ME! So I guess there's, like, a chain of staring or something. Once one person starts staring and the other person notices, you just can't forget about it. Or something (hopefully my post made sense).

Anonymous said...

i posted a comment way earlier lol,like 3 month ago. am the "kangoroo" guy ;)
damn this blog is the best...it feels so good to see am not the only one, and this shit is still on damnit!

Pete G said...

It's interesting that when you're next to the person who usually stares at you, they start feeling scared or anxious, and if they talk to you, it'll be like they never stared at you in the first place.

Anonymous said...

what should i do if i accidently stare at some1 but im not even intending on looking at them and they look at me back and i think oh crap and i usually look away quickly.. please give me advice on what to do

Frocks said...

I hate this! People always stare at me. Some people even go out of their way to peek out from behind other people to look at me. It can't be that they want to look like me since I'm a small Asian male (albeit I'm told I'm above average looking). Maybe people stare because I don't act the way I look. I dress like an average teen, well-proportioned and have sharp features, but I'm very modest and humble in nature. I think a lot of times it's me since I don't know where to look when I'm bored and I have shift eyes. However, it's rude to stare! I don't even stare when a homeless person walks onto the bus so they have no reason to stare at me.

Anonymous said...

I am new living here in Dubai U.A.E. where there is a lot of Muslim women who wear black gowns and head coverings. I am not Muslim and wear "regular American clothing" which can be jeans and a top, or a dress or skirt and blouse,etc. I am also a dark skinned brown African Carribean woman married to a caucasion English French American man and we CONSTANTLY get looks when we are together or apart, especially by the Muslim men wearing white gowns and their wives wearing all black. It is sad that people who are supposed to be so religious and following in "Allah God's" steps can be so rude and all the time. In the 39 days I have been here my husband and I HAVE GOTTEN long piercing stares wherever we go and I mean long. Whoever is running the Mosque services needs to put in their "sermon" what manners are and how to treat others with respect. Sometimes I look at the starers and give them a giant smile, or flip my hair at them most of the time I just ignore them. Here in the U.A.E. giving the finger and or cursing is illegal and can put you in jail even, they don't play here. Really too bad because sometimes I just don't want to be a "lady".

Anonymous said...

People stare at me when I go out all the time. I hate going into restaurants bcause cant stand pple staring at me. Usually its for 5 seconds then they loook away but then go back to focusing on me again. I dont like it I find it very distracting. Im a girl and been told that Im attractive I dont think i am. Anyway I wish people would leave me alone and find something else to look at.

Anonymous said...

I have funny element to my face which makes me awkward looking. People have stared at me my whole life. Mostly staring, but often (mostly) men will have a smirk on their face, women tend to have an expression of disgust.

It causes a great depression in my life but I just keep my head down nowadays. So, my advice is if you think you got nothing wrong with you and people are staring, don't let it bother you.

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I am an asian guy. I stares a lot to other people every where train, caffeteria, train station.
I dont think it is bad or its my problem.

I stare usually to beautiful woman, handicapped people, mad people, homeless people.

When I starre at a beautiful woman, it reminds me God who made this beautiful creature.

When I stare at a handicapped people it reminds me God who made him handicapped.


When I stare at a Mad people it reminds me God who made him mad.

When I stare at a homeless people it reminds me God who made him homeless.

I found last three categories are pretty happy to be stared at except the beautiful woman.
I dont get the point. If you dont want other people to look at you keep yourself inside, dont dress well, be ugly, dont show yourself.

Anonymous said...

Whenever someone is staring directly at me, I point my finger at myself and go: "me?"

Is really funny and they usually look away, but it has a glitch because they can always answer you back, so you must be willing to face the bloke.

If they answer me back and keep on staring at me, I stalk them around and spray some graffiti on their clothes, then run like hell of course. I'm sure they think twice before staring at other people now.

Anonymous said...

Heres my advice, if it really annoys you guys and girls that u get stared at learn self defence or any martial art.

NExt time someone stares if you can see even a shred of malice, jelousy, judgement, beat the fucking crap out of them.
Thats what im gonna do.

Meanwhile, try to understand that that person might be interested in you and is shy and insecure. Don't beat up those.

Also, if it bothers you that people stare even when they don't seem to want harm happen to you,it may be because of your low self esteem \ self consciousness.
Maybe theres something in your body you don't like, you either accept it or change it.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know why people keep staring. I've been through a lot of times.In school and in public.When I went to the library,
I was just browsing through the shelves.And this guy who is right behind me ,stops and look at me.And then,he kept coming closer and closer to take a look at me. I was there laughing hysterically. And he walks away. It's damn annoying. Even when I sit down and read a book on the bench , one lady stares at me.While she was staring at me,she slowly put her bag down as if I do something scary to her. I mean,come on, why is it there to be scared of.I'm not really a freaky looking.I'm normal like others. Sometimes, people stares just because they judge people by appearance or don't like the way we look. Just say something.And not stare all the time.

Anonymous said...

IF U FEEL THAT PEOPLE ARE STARING AT U ALL THE TIME, THAT TOO IN AN ANGRY MANNER - THEN ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING FROM SOCIAL ANXIETY AND SOCIAL PHOBIA, you need to take a look here

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/

Anonymous said...

I find staring more irritating than anything else. I suppose that people stare on a subway for example because they are bored or have nothing else to look at; however, it is still impolite to continuously stare at another person, regardless of the social setting. I feel like most people feel this way and I am relieved to know that many people feel the same way as me. Either a person has a reason to stare at you are they don't have a reason. Regardless, staring is impolite. I realize now that people will continue to stare and the best solution is to just ignore it.

Anonymous said...

I never noticed people staring at me until a couple of years ago. The staring didn't bother me so much until it was coupled with face touching.
Regardless if I'm walking on the street (in America or Europe), riding my bike, shopping for groceries - out of my peripheral vision I'll catch someone touching their face as they see me. I've read that face touching is a sign of negative judgment or insecurity (i.e. they feel threatened).
Though I was born and grew up in the midwest, people often tell me I look "exotic". I've been called attractive and "stunning" by some, and been called ugly or laughed at by others (typically obese or plain looking white women or more aptly, girls).
The insecurities I have about my flaws feel 10x worse when I catch anyone looking at me; I often times feel threatened or embarrassed to be alive and out in public.
Some others have said that staring is a meaningless and inconsequential game of sorts that bullies play, which I agree. You can usually tell if someone is trying to gain false superiority or just zoned out (the latter is typically accompanied by a smirk or a knowing look - even though they know nothing in reality).

Has anyone else noticed face touching?

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! I cant believe I found this blog! This happens to me on a day to day basis and I acnnot understand. Pppl look at me where ever I go, and its just so annoying and it ruins my day! Im a normal 27 year old, normal looking, normal clothes, normal hair, but ppl just stare at me all the time! Why? Now I start to feel there is something wrong with me, but I now there isnt. How dare total starngers have this negative effcet on me? Now Im coming to the point where I dont even want to go outside anymore. But thats impossible. I have a job. But the stars are so annoying! WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT??

Anonymous said...

Yes! thank you God...Im not the only one with this problem

Every day in school people stare at me and they have no danm shame!
From my hair to my feet! It makes me nervous sometimes.Only my friends dont stare at me.

I can be looking somewhere else and when I glance somewhere I notice peoples faces just staring at me.I dont know what is average so im going to just describe myself.I have really curly and long hair,Light skinned hispanic, skinny but not too skinny,I dress pretty normal with jeans and stuff.What could be so amusing for them to stare at me?....guys and girl?? and why girls?

Cutieblond1972 said...

I hate when people stare at me! I don't mind if it is a good looking guy staring at me but when other women stare at me i get nervous and paranoid, I am a straight woman and i always think if a woman stares at me she is either gay or being a rude bitch. I also hate when little kids stare at me. They don't know any better. I am told I am pretty ( I am 5'2' tall and have blond hair and a big chest) that might be why people stare at me but i hate it when other women stare at me, i feel like saying to them "stop staring at me you lesbo!

Anonymous said...

"Stop staring at me lesbo." You sound really immature for a woman who was possibly born in 1972. Excuse me for being a "rude bitch."

ren said...

I know, I agree with the last comment to Cutieblond1972. I also hate when people basically say things like "I'm blonde, so maybe that's why people stare at me," like that makes you more attractive than others.

I have never noticed people staring at me like they were angry at me or wanted to harm me. It's usually either a blank or neutral-expression stare that makes it hard to know what people are thinking, or it's more like they're talking about me with someone else. It's usually the former, and it happens in all kinds of situations so I know it's not just "people need something to look at on the subway." I noticed way back in middle school that even teachers would just almost teach to me in a class of about 30 students--not all teachers, but just some.

The thing that I really can't understand is most people who stare at me are other women (I'm female). It's hardly men, even though the teacher examples were often men. I've asked this question before on some other sites, and the common answer is that these people think I'm attractive. Like most people have said, I don't see any big deal in how I look. In a way, I wish if staring were because someone thinks I'm attractive, that the person would just tell me I'm attractive.

I've seen others comment on this topic elsewhere, and they mention in the context of women staring at other women that comparisons are being made or they are checking out your fashion, etc--that's what makes me hate staring. I wouldn't go so far as to say these people are stupid or jealous or anything, but I do know and hate how women have a tendency to just mentally critique things about other women that is none of their business like another woman's clothes, hair, etc. One of my friends said in conversation that women dress for other women, and I turned to the other person we were talking to--a guy--and said, "This is why I don't hang out with women." She responded, "But you know, you look fine, you keep your hair done" and crap like that. I mean, I'd really like to be able to go about my day without someone critiquing me, especially since I don't care about fashion or making sure other women like how I look. The thing is other women think you're crazy if you don't act like every single day is a fashion show or beauty contest you must win...you've just failed a major test to them...then they get all insecure if you look good and a guy they like stares. Exasperating...

Anonymous said...

its pretty simple everyone...if same sex stares,it's called dogging..(dont like you)..oposite sex(they think you are cute),, un less gay or lesbian,,you get the point.. if your a man stare back as if you wanna fight ,they'll look away if not be ready to get down 9like a man... if a girl stares be like hey! :] where do i know you from,i swear i remember your pretty eyes and ask for her number.say you lost it and thats why you never called,jeje.lol..

Kenji said...

oh man, i hate it when people stare at me.

for one thing I'm 24 and I appear 16, I can't even buy a glue stick without showing ID

lately I've noticed a Canadian woman in my block who keeps staring at me

she must be in her late 50's, she studying here with her african husband

one day I was in my car waiting for my husband to return when this lady's husband came towards the apartment block with his groceries in hand, I'de never seen him before and he was standing looking inside the glass of the door for ages

i was thinking it was wierd he was doing that, and it was clear he didnt have a key

anyhoo, the canadian lady came round the corner then and she saw me watching what was going on

she STARED at me accusingly as though I was perving over her husband or something

and she hasnt stop doing that since!

the guy must be 60! OMG, and every time i see her now I smile and say hi and she gives me this wierd assessing look back, i mean wth?

and if I'm speaking to the security guard and she's standing there, her eyes are TOTALLY glued to my face

is it because she has a low self esteem or something that she see's me as some sort of competition?

lady if you are reading this trust me I am not crushing on your husband, I have one of my own I am very happy with, now can you please stop boring holes into me with the two lazerbeams attached to your eyeballs?

Thanks

Kenji said...

oh man, i hate it when people stare at me.

for one thing I'm 24 and I appear 16, I can't even buy a glue stick without showing ID

lately I've noticed a Canadian woman in my block who keeps staring at me

she must be in her late 50's, she studying here with her african husband

one day I was in my car waiting for my husband to return when this lady's husband came towards the apartment block with his groceries in hand, I'de never seen him before and he was standing looking inside the glass of the door for ages

i was thinking it was wierd he was doing that, and it was clear he didnt have a key

anyhoo, the canadian lady came round the corner then and she saw me watching what was going on

she STARED at me accusingly as though I was perving over her husband or something

and she hasnt stop doing that since!

the guy must be 60! OMG, and everytime i see her now I smile and say hi and she gives me this wierd assessing look back, i mean wth?

is it because she has a low self esteem or something? does she think I'm crushing on her husband?

Lady, if your reading this, believe me, I'm very happy in my marriage and am not remotely interested in your husband even though hes old enough to be my grandpa

so please stop boring holes into my face everytime you see me with those lazer attachments you call eyes? okay?

good *sigh* got that off my chest

Kenji

Anonymous said...

I'm a 37 year old Puerto Rican women with a Jlo booty. This is to funny, but so true. I get the 'almost get hit by a car' stares. Even women stare and comment. I hate it but since there is nothing I can do about it I just accept it and move on.

Now for the reason I am here. I'm engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. But he was almost beaten to death when he was 13 years old, and has many scars. People stare at him and he hates it. He tends to want to put these starers on blast. It hurts me, and at one point I almost let it affect our relationship. But then I realized that scars and all I love him inside and outside. And when we see people staring I just hold him tighter and tell him not to stress them.
Let people stare, what matters is what you feel inside. They are only judging what they don't know. And truthfully a strangers prejudice or biast is not going to stop you from living. So live it up. Another thought..we have enough war in the world, let's not make more.

Just like I tell my boo you're beautiful to me.

Anonymous said...

Getting a stare once a day no problem, all the time and it is SUPER annoying. Unattractive people need to stop the cheetos get on the stairmaster. Staring at pretty people isn't going to make you attractive or get you a date.

fuzzwuzz said...

Some people might stare, but most people don't usually when you're out and about. Most are aware that it could be rude, or annoying to the person they to. So unless you particularly stand out, there's no reason why they would stare. ARE YOU SURE you're not being paranoid? Because from experience, if you are, you might not believe that you are. I went through I period where I was absolutely certain of the same thing. When I came out of it, I looked around again when I went out and people were not staring at me anymore. I had not changed, and people's reactions towards you certainly don't change that quickly! The conclusion? Your mind's playing tricks on you ;) Mind is a powerful thing. Or you may be feeling overwhelmingly sub-conscious, that it's gone past the 'excessive' mark.

Frocks said...

Arghh! So the other day I was at a restaurant with my family minding my own business. Then out of the corner of my eye, I see a middle aged couple staring at us for gosh knows how long. I actually felt rage that I haven't felt for years and wanted to punch the crap out of the lady. I thought "If people stare at me, why can't I stare at them?" I then positioned myself so my body facing them and I really believe I made them feel uncomfortable. I muttered words under my breath loudly and angrily. On the way out of the restaurant, I turned and glared and sure enough, the couple was looking at me so it means I must have gotten my point across. It felt good to get some sort of revenge.

Anonymous said...

agreeing with ren, most people who stare at me are other women, often catching them at the corner of my eye looking me up and down and then when i turn to face them or confront them if you may, they either keep staring straight into my face or look panicked that i caught them out and eventually look away. Im normally okay with this but recently its been happening loads, especially shopping where everybody is so fixated with fashion and checking what you have on. I pretty much have my own style but dont follow trends crazily, just a little quirkier. Men do it too, all of which have neutral expressions or sleazy expressions which i find embarrasing especially in public. I dont really do it much to others, just hate it when i realsie i am being STARED at! so please stop bcause it is annoying

Charisma said...

I was just surfing and I really like you blog. I have issues with people staring at me too. I thought I was crazy or paranoid. hehe. I am definately goin to try the Outstaring Technique.

Anonymous said...

I have the problem with ppl staring too.I googled it it and well here I am.It makes me feel better reading the comments.I don't know why people do it.Does it make them feel powerful??My theory is they sort of judge you,it is superficial.Anyways it makes me nervous when they stare.I am just a human,they they are human.Staring is rude.

Elaina M said...

There are some people who frequently glance in my direction but never out-rightly stare. But when I look back in their direction they look somewhere else with the most focused expression on their face as if they were never looking at me in the first place. When I go back to whatever it was that I was doing, I suddenly notice that they have gone back to glancing to and fro from my peripheral view. I find it weird, creepy and very annoying.
Has this happened to anyone else here, and if so why the hell do people do that??

Anonymous said...

I am a 27 yr old girl and after years of being on the pill and sunlight i developed melasma which is pigmentation above my lip which has left me devestated, it looks like a mustache ewwwwwww and make-up cant cover it. I know ppl live with worse but ive become sucicidal, its taken who i am aaway from me and now ive become a great target for ppl who want a laugh and a joke and a freak show for those who dont. Some ppl even look at me as if to say shave ugly cow but i cant cos its not hair its skin pigmnet. Ive become a recluse and lifes passing me by i dont want to set myself up for a fall, so its easier to stay in than go out and be laughed at. I dont think ill ever live a normal life again.

Angel said...

Hi Sweetie,
Just wanted to write that lot's of women have pigmentation problems above the upper lip, especially after childbirth or taking birth control pills. Maybe you can try a different method of birth control and try a skin lightening product recommended by a dermatologist to help minimize the appearance of some of your areas of hyperpigmentation on your face. Also, you can try applying a yellow-based concealer (which is often used by women to counteract the look of dark circles )above your upper lip before applying your regular make-up. It saddens me that you feel suicidal over this. We as women feel so much pressure to have the perfect skin, and sometimes skin problems can take over our lives, especially if we feel that we are being stared at for having imperfect skin. I battle acne, and chronic dark circles and I know how you feel. Please know that you are worthy of love and acceptance and may God bless you.

confident_chick said...

wow. This blog topic has been going on for a while. It amuses me with all the fun stories people posted here. I just like to say that if people stare at you , its mainly because you stand out for a reason. Usually its because you are very attractive or have an interesting look, hairdo or unique look. Trust me if you are not disabled, super ugly or terribly scarred, then there's no need to worry. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. I think you shouldn't feel too self conscious. I get it a lot too, and its mainly from guys,and these guys obviously stare out of attraction or interest, they usually smile or if they re too shy they quickly look away, and i usually smile back just to be nice, but then some girls stare too, and most of the girls who stare are usually intimidated or jealous, either way it doesn't bother me, I always return their stare and they'll look away in embarrassment. I know i look great and I am confident so I dont feel ashamed or shy or paranoid if people stare at me. either ignore them or stare them down. if your confidence projects through, they will look away. I think people who re too shy or have very low self-esteem that shows through are easier target for other people who give them angry or rude stares or intimidating stares. Just be happy with who you are. You know its very uncomfortable/awkward watching someone who is overly shy or has low self confidence. remember you may never see these people again, they re just people like you, and its just on the street. live your life and be happy, don't let it affect who you are.
have fun y'all!

frocks said...

Elaina M: Yes, it happens all to often. Beside my house is a house under construction and today I was in my backyard minding my own business when I look up. Lo and behold, a construction worker was looking at me. He quickly ducked back in the house. I pretended to do my own thing again, and suddenly turned around again, and the construction worker was peeking out the window again. He quickly ducked into his house again and didn't appear again. The whole situation was kinda funny, but pathetic. What the heck.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God. I just experienced that with a young woman on the subway in DC this weekend. I'm usually considered attractive to the people I've met so far from what they'd said to me. I wasn't dressed too strangely. I was wearing a black dress with a biker jacket and boots. That might be an odd combination but it's not the weirdest thing I've seen people wear and my make up was minimal. I also recently bleached my hair totally blonde/almost white because I've been a brunette for 7 years and it was getting old. Sometimes I just need a change.:) Anyway I have a simple shoulder length hair cut though. I've gotten a lot of compliments... even from attractive male friends. Anyway, my friend and I were going to a club to visit a couple of people we know. We get on and I notice this young 20 year old woman staring directly at me for a Long time with a smirk while she squints her eyes. Eventually she looked away, but as soon as I said anything normal to my friend (I believe I sound "normal" and not sounding crazy/or strange) anyway she'd look at me again and continue to stare at me w/ a smirk and give me the 'evil eye.' I could be wrong, but where I come from that look means she either thinks I'm "up to something," she's jealous of my appearance, or she's racist (I know most people hate the 'race card', but let's be Honest... certain types will judge you based on this... I've had that happen to me before where people of another race told me that they hated mine 3 times in a row-yeah.) She looked African-American/Black and I'm multi-ethnic (caucasian, asian, native american.) Anyway, honestly I've only gotten looks and nasty comments from random black chicks. From what I can recall, I've (never) gotten rude facial expressions or comments from any other ethnicity or gender.... just Black Women. I've had (mainly) black men ask me out on dates and have had many black women tell me they think I look 'good' or what have you. I'm (sure) most of the time, when a black lady squints her eyes really hard and "smirks" (purses her lips together w/ a forced "closed mouth" smile" and looks directly at me while doing this... it's not for positive reasons. ("talking" to the women who stare at me so often) - If you bi_ches don't like me because you hate my style of wardrobe, or my bleach job... or the fact that I'm not black or because my friend is just some white guy... F_ck You and stop staring. I'm not trying to "steal" your man, I'm already taken. I can't change how I was born and I (wont) change my sense of style. Actually, even if I could change my natural appearance, I wouldn't. I honestly like how I look (well half the time) so I dont want to ruin that. :P Anyway I am almost 30 years old and life is too short to care what some ghetto big headed black chick who just graduated H.S. thinks of me.
~Mel from VA :P

Anonymous said...

I was at the gas pump today when some lady pulled behind me. She first caught my attention because she seemed to be pulling forward very slowly. When I looked over she was looking at me, she appeared scared. I continued pumping, ignoring her. I could hear her starting to pump her gas, and it was weird because it sounded really quiet, like she was making an extreme effort not to make any noise. Still, I ignored her, never looking at her. I wrapped up my business and was walking back into my car when I noticed she was sitting in her car, STARING at me. I am very sure she was staring at me the entire time. It really pissed me off, like it always does. I looked in my rearview mirror and threw her a nasty look as I drove away. After I was pulling out of the lot, I noticed her get out of her car and finish her business. I felt so angry and really wanted to say something to her. I really wanted to tell her what a stupid thing it is to get back into your car while your tank is being filled. I day dreamed about her car igniting and me just laughing at her while she burned inside of her designer attire, inside of her Benz.

I think that people stare for lots of reasons. Whenever it is women staring at me, it is almost always fear I think. At least that is wha it looks like. It is shocking and sad how much FEAR dictates peoples lives. And I would not consider myself very intimidating physically. 5'10, white, slight build. I do normally sport a crew cut and a nasty look on my face, these things might not help.

Anonymous said...

why do people stare? it could be numerous of reasons why people do that to you or somone else. when i was 5 years old all the way till 11 i didn't know what staring was and i didn't have a problem with it. i am 14 already,i am black,short,short black hair and i go to park view middle school. people stare at me too,i don't know about "too often" or"all the time" but i don't complain about it too much or hardly. i get heart scares when somone is looking at me for 2 minutes but i relax and i don't get hyped up about it. what is there to be angry of or confused about? that is nothing to get upset over. if i worried about people staring me up and down or whispering behind my back,or staring at me mean,jealousy,shameful or iggnorant i wouldn't be thinking about all the things in my life that makes me happy or i wouldn't be who i am if i was worrying about people too much,its not neccessary. if your getting good grades in school and if your teachers love you to death then that should make you smile in the inside,if your getting the attention at home then you shouldn't be upset over a "big staring problem" its not you,its them. they're not GOD they can't jugde you. you are who you are and that'somthing they can't be. their opinion to you isin't needed but you didn't ask so let them be mean. there's enough war,racial tension,economy problems and bank debt in the world already lets not make it worser that it already is. you show your reason to care about what people think of you that shouldn't change your feelings...how are you gonna let somone change your feelings,or have control over what you wanna look in public or how you want your hair or how you wanna dress? that's a horrible feeling. if you wanna dress like britney spears then do that! if you wanna dress like a rock star but gothic then do that! i don't give a rat's tail in my freakin bowl!! how is a human freakin being gonna tell another human freakin being to not sit on a bench? you have to possibly be idiotic.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this blog....
I have this problem too...my problem is this..one day when I was in the restaurant all alone by myself, minding my own business, there's this guy staring at me as if I was the ugliest creature to draw an attention, I mean c'mon..I'm an average boy who is 17 years old, dress like the others, i'm not that handsome nor ugly...i know it!..but this guy just doesn't stare at me, he sits near aside the other table and stare at me face to face....I said to myself..WTF is ur problem??!! can u just leave me alone.!!! Now its hard for me to eat because every after 5 seconds he stares at me again....this is annoying man!...

This is not just the first time, also when I'm in the subway..some people stare at me angrily...now I'm covering my face all the time by a towel...i know it sucks...but man..they can't just leave me alone..i'm sick and tired of this..!

Anonymous said...

Hello Everyone! I live in Poland , and belive me here in Poland this is really a hughe problem . I live in big city about 1 milion ppl , but i fell like in litlle village , dont get me whrong but when you live in the city you just expect more privacy , but not here . Its jus drive me crazy i cant stand it. People stare at each otcher all the time , (especcially woman) on the street,shooping centers, on the bus , everywhere you just cant make move whitout being watch. Its just so rude and make me sooooo uncomfortable. And when you ask what are you stare at? Give me some space! The answer is go to the doctor crazy bith,or somethig like that. And it seems that i am the only one who see that, noone care thats ok to stare , no problem .I wish to move to somwhere where people respect each other and understand , that some kind of behavior are just unacceptable.I really need to move out, because its a problem for me and i know behind that is something more,its because are full of hate, they are jealous of absolutley everythng.I dont want live between people like this, so trust me if you are live somewhere else USA Canada or UK you will never find out what to being watch really mean , good for you! Please forgive me my english! Thank you for reading my post ,Hanna

Anonymous said...

I just don't understand what the problem is with most people that stare. I've been trying to ignore it most of the time when I go to school (where it is the worst) or even out somewhere. It is easy to find someone stare at you if you actually "look" around the place or when you're heading to your destination. It isn't a social problem with teh people who fell they are being stared at all the time. I mean damn I see this girl in my class that always stares at me in 5th per with a bad attitude face. Even when you pass by someone they look at you as if they knew you were coming around and just stare with an evil look. It makes you want to go up to them and do something, but I just think about and say 'You know what who the heck cars?' and move on with my life. I just think this is a strange topic because this thing does happen daily even with people you see EVERYDAY. I had noticed that only the people you don't know in your life or maybe is just a classmate, etc. and not even have talked to stare at you. Only the family you have and friends or acquaintances don't do these kind of things. Even my mom tells me there is just people will be like this and I have to ignore such as school being so frustrating to deal with.

Anonymous said...

Thank God I found this post as I searched the web in fustration trying to find something on this topic. I am plagued by this everyday, all day long. Everyone, I mean everyone, is staring at me. It's partly due to my job, where I work with public coming up to me all the time and I take it home with me. Now I try to find open spaces to be alone, like a park. But it leaves me in stress and anxiety all day long. I actually went crazy in a mall and ran away from people and ran into a faux colliseum thing. Reality Therapy didn't help. I have to quit work. And I've got a Psych degree and am on Effexor! I keep telling myself its all in my head, but it doesn't help that much. I didn't think there was anything about this on the web until I saw this and it feels really good to hear other people talking about it.

Really Desperate said...

Hey everyone i am so happy to find this blog on the internet,i developed this problem of people staring at me where-ever i go,it so happens that i end up getting stared down by some bunch of strangers whom i have never met in my life.I am so frustrated,scared as i cant even carry out my day 2 day work properly.I know i am a normal person, i mind my own business while on streets or even anywhere for that sake,nowadays i feel so insecure to sit in any open space such as coffee shops,restaurants or any public space.i even ended up changing 3 jobs in last 1 year,just because i was being stared at in the immediate locality,i just started feeling like a psycho these days.Sometimes even feel like i should be in some asylum or some place like that.I was looking in the internet for what exactly this would be so i ended up reading about this article which was describing people with such nature are called as having social anxiety disorder or some thing like that.I dont know for sure yet,now i need i feel like meeting a therapist or i might end up in some self destructive pattern.i even began loose hopes,now i try and stay as much indoors as possible and go out only @ late hours when there are less folks around.anyways friends do keep blogging if u guys have any psychological reasoning regarding why is it happening to individuals like us and do keep commenting if u guys have an effective cure for this sick shit mental condition.

Really Desperate....:-(

Johny said...

Hey everyone,this is something really good you guys got going here and its been going on for quite some time,anyways the reason im posting my comment is that,i too was a person suffering sometime back with this disorder and i suffered so badly ended up changing jobs,avoiding public places and even changed the city i lived in.

Alright this might be relevant or may not be relevant but it helped me and hope it will be of some use to u guys also.Staring is a result of disorder or a mental condition of the individual who is been starred at and i say this in relevance with this blog and experience you people are facing here.Half of the people who suffer from this disorder are those who turn out to be individuals trying to fit into the new environment, but there might be some exceptions with this and all these guys a majority of them would come under the stereotype of "LONERS".

Such kinda disorder arises when you are too lonely and dont exactly have a particular purpsoe in life and looking for some comfort zone or put it simply u mind is kinda whacked out with everyday stress and looking for a world to fit in like a "home".Now i just wanted to say that,"this was wat i analysed" and if you dont agree with it just ignore my post.

Now going towards the solution part.I followed these simple things to get back on track.I started doing things whch i love the most such as listening to music and started doing meditation and more over started having my own group of friend circle.Trust w\these things created a comfort zone in my head and i am perfectly peaceful these days.

Have faith in urself,get urself into your comfort zone.Take care guys.

Anonymous said...

Wow... I had no idea that I'm not the only one in the world who has this problem.
I've been stared at for 2 years, and it hasn't stopped. Although I'm used to it, whenever someone stares at me, I wish they would suffer the same parinoia that I have. I know it's mean, but I wish they would stop being bored or looking like they wish I would die. I've noticed that there are some things you can do to stop being stared at, though:

Wear clothes that aren't that eye popping, and ones that you like.

On the day before this, I wore an outfit that was pretty normal, and I thought it looked good on me.
When I went out,I noticed that no one hardly glanced at me.

Try not to stare at people unless they are really bugging you.

Once I was sitting at the kitchen table and my brother was playing on the computer. Since I was bored, I was staring over in my brothers direction(not neccecarily looking at him.). Suddenly,he looked up and began staring at me. I put my head down, and he turned around. Then, I glanced at him, to see if he was staring at me. I looked at me again, and started staring. I asked, "Why are you staring at me?" And he said,"You were staring at me!That's why!"

People may not stare at you if you don't stare at them.


Good luck.

Anonymous said...

whoops. I meant he not I

Skylar said...

I think that they are bored, insecre,shallow,or cocky. I think it is rude to stare, so readers don't stare. They will wonder why you are and find you a little creepy after a touple seconds.. I once stared at this cute boy and he thought i was shallow.If you see a person staring at you, STOP STRARING AT ME... KID!

Anonymous said...

I talked to a girl that stares at me and she said that if she does not have very good skin so she has a tendancy to stare at people that have a quality that she wants.

Give the fact that most woman are overweight and insecure, maybe they also do this too.

I know weight is a big problem for people but please don't make other people suffer by staring at others that look like you want to look like.

I don't go out much anymore because I ALWAYS get starred at. I have guys on the road honk at me, woman stare. It is at the point where I want to punch them. Which I won't do.

Sver├░ Andersson said...

Interesting. I have some of this staring thing figured out(how to deal with it) for guys, I just stare challengingly back at them. If they don't immediately walk over, but continue glaring or just look away (what happens most) they aren't anything to worry about, and I act as though they aren't there. But does anyone know how to deal with the opposite sex? I don't stare at girls when they stare, because I don't want to come accross as a stalker or anything. One girl's been staring at me for months, and I'm soooo sick of it. How does a guy(and I usually come across as a little agressive and rude, from what I hear, although I've never once talked to this girl) deal with this? do I stare back?

Anonymous said...

TAHNK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for this blog!!!!!
I have been having this problem as well for a very long time. I am so sick of it...it makes me not want to go anywhere. I am 5'11 and average looking woman....sometimes i think its becauser I am tall...but I don't understand why I get the ugly stares. I am beginning to realize, it is never from men, they usually give the noraml quick glance, and a smile or don't stare at all...it's always women my age and older...WTF! It makes me so angry and anxious inside. They stare at me like I have a booger hanging out of my nose, If I smile sometimes they look at me with even more disgust.
I just don't get it. My Fiance' says I am being paranoid, but i don't think so.

I like the "give them a great big smile and say hello" deal. I think I will try tht one from here on out. Oh and they stare at my two yr old son as well...That makes me even more angry. I want to tell them to Fk off for real!

Anonymous said...

Man, I wish I googled this earlier. I've been suffering from people staring at me nearly always. One annoying thing is when I notice someone looking in my direction. I glance only halfway in their direction to confirm it, since if I look at them directly, and they weren't looking at me, then they will probably start looking at me. Anyway, so after I look midway and see he was looking out the window near me, I go back to what I was doing. This is in a cafe and I was working with my laptop.

Moments later, he decides to switch tables and move to a table out of my view. Well, a little later on, I turn around to get my jacket off my chair, and I notice he is holding a newspaper pretending to read, but all the while staring right at me. He must have been doing this for like ten minutes or more. How is it possible? Why? Because I looked halfway in the beginning? Should I have looked him in the eye, oh great, cuz that would've started a staring contest, no???

Man, this kind of shit happens to me all the time. I'm careful to look straight only. lol. Even if I see someone walking by, the slightest movement I make, and the person's attention is immediately upon me. WTF???? This shit creeps me out so much so that i want to stay home and not go out. I could probably save a lot of money that way anyhow.

I'm not looking forward to going back to work either, people stare and stare and stare, everyhere I go. I'm an average looking female with a slightly big nose but nice eyes and lips and ok skin. I mean, c'mon!! I dont dress out of the ordinary. I'm white and while not attractive to white guys, I do get attention from black and latin guys. Just to give a picture that I'm average looking.

Why why why do people stare? I've read all the comments and some of them make sense but I still just don't get it:(

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I get stared at alot too. But for some reason, I can not do the stare challenge. I always look away. How can I win the stare challenge? Or is it too immature of me to even try it?

Anonymous said...

I stare at people. Just because I like to observe. I like to notice the differences, similarities, unique aspects about people. Sometimes I like to watch how they walk. Wonder what they are like. Etc..And other times I just do it to see what kind of reaction I will get. So I suppose people stare for a number of different reasons.

You could be ugly, you could be cute, you could remind them of someone, they might think they know you, maybe they like your eyes. Who knows.

No reason to be paranoid about it. So what if someone looks at you, it's not like their eyes are going to burn a hole through your flesh.

Anonymous said...

It's when they don't look away, that I get pissed off. I don't engage in contests because I just can't. So I'll look away, and moments later, they'll still be looking straight at me with an expressionless face.

I've also noticed expressions of mockery or like they're waiting for you to do something weird or lose your patience with these idiots who are fixated on you.

Sometimes, they are being just plain mean, as is the base or primitive thing in human nature, and I can see it in their stare.

Bottomline: stop staring. It's rude. Occupy yourself.

So much ignorance in the world...

wonka said...

I can literally write a book on how
I'am stared at continuously,when
I'm out in the public eye.Now it's
not by everybody,DUH!!,however it
seems like everytime I'm in a bar
there's at least two different kind
of people staring at me.WHY?!,beats
me,but,when I'm on the train is when the problem really takes place,I just don't know what it is.
Even my friends notice it,and this is something that I've dealt with
for some years,however,I notice as
I've gotten older(I'm only 24)
this has become more evident.Now
look I'm noone special,I dress
normal,sometimes different then others(as far as style/comfort is
concerned),I'm not oddly tall in
fact I'm short only 5'8.I try so
hard to ignore it,but,it's hard so
I just close my eyes or find some
thing to read.When I ask my female
associates/friends what is it that
warrants a stare at me,most of them see it from a female aspect.
They tell me when females are staring at me it maybe because of
five things.Check it,My long eye
lashes(I happen to have long eyelashes for a guy)O.K.fine,NEXT
they tell me my eyes are sexy and
sad so a girl maybe trying to figure me out(whatever that means),
NEXT,they tell me I have nice lips,
O.K. cool,NEXT,my chubby cheeks/
and my dimples,as if I'm the only
freakin' guy in the world with
chubby cheeks and dimples.Last,but,
not least my presence.Some people
may get an uncomfortable vibe from
me,an anti-social vibe from me(I'am
a loner),or just say I don't like
that guy,whether it be male or female.I seem to get all these
types of looks,vibes,messages or
whatever you wanna call it from
people.Sometimes it's good,other
times it's not.I just ignore it
and tell myself"hey,bro you didn't do anything to that person so don't
worry about it".I still don't under
stand it,WHY??ME(LoL),I guess I'll
never truly know,despite the opinions of others(especially my
female associates/friends).To be
honest,I've excepted it as apart of daily life,especially because I
know I'm not the only one who deals
with this,which is evident by way
of this blog.So I deal with it and
go on with life,long as nobody tries to physically harm me,I leave
it be,that's all I/we(as a person,
and as a people can do).As I've
gotten older,I have learned that I
can't control things like that,so
I except it and deal with it in a
positive way,instead of losing my
cool,because it is AS THE TOPIC
READS-CONFUSION AND FRUSTRATION.I
have learned how to deal with it
though,and I'm still learning.

antistare said...

I always get people back if they stare at me, by pushing them and telling them not to do it again

duncan said...

This blog is one giant answer to all the questions. Everyone on here hates being stared at and some people have had enough so they stare at everyone back. Thats about it really i think, we're all thinking the same thing. Obviously there's exceptions but I'm sick of it too! But there's no solution really cos look at all of us we're all thinking the same thing really. Also i find the best response is a really honest nod lol as funny as that sounds to me. What i mean is if you do catch someone, just make a feeling inside yourself like you understand completely that they think there's something wrong with them and just give them a small nod that almost says you're thinking the same and its all good. If everyone kept on top of their bad feelings and oonly gave out the good the world would change. But thats never gonna happen cos of the fucking ass holes who genuinely dont give a fuck.... But they will have their reasons too which is why i get SO frustrated!! Also i think there's 2 mind-sets. Being assured of yourself and un-assured. I go through phases of both. Like really big phases, i can be incredibly confident one day and nervous the next. That's just pressure, go for a swim! Eat healthy have a chat with a friend! Dont get pissed and carry bad feeling. I love the human race but it really fucks itself over. Anyway my point was insecure people stare at the secure to try and see what they look like or feel like to try and help themselves. Secure people look at the insecure out of mild sympathy, vague interest, or in annoyance that they aren't holding it together when the secure person has to put a lot of effort into holding it together themselves, hence the resent. There's one spectrum of emotion a human is capable of (except nutters) Pick where you are on the scale, someone else on the other end of that scale feels just like you would if you had had their experiences! So try and feel empathy, we're all the same really. And it'll stop people staring at me lol I mean no harm man im just checkin what you're lookin at just like you re with me! :P

duncan said...

Also i have to add this one for when you want to really relieve yourself! haha seriously if you want the best most relieveing giggles in the world try this. Right so you're walkingalong and notice its gna be one of those days when people are lookin at you. Now catch someone coming your way who you just know is gna be looking at you when you look up. This is almost a psychic ability in humans so you can really freak people out. But just catch someone who's gna do it way before they're gna get near you and pretend to be COMPLTELY ignorant and normal whilst biding your time for your moment and then when they're near enough look up really suddenly with a jerky kind of noise but make just to really freak them out lol its great. Just go from completely normal to horrendous sudden eye lock... can't describe it too well tbh but i get the worst giggles if you jst do it really quick and then pretend you did nothing lol, but only do it to the ass holes and if you're having a day thats sending you slightly hysterical. Makes you realise its all just a massive stupid game thats all it is. Rise above it and enter the realm of hysterics, its so much sweeter up here lol

Anonymous said...

hnm...when ppl satare at me i stare at them back nd them they become kinda nervous so they quickly turn thier eyes off me xD

Anonymous said...

I'm an agoraphobic who has been trapped mostly indoors for 7 years and get stared at constantly. I don't work or claim welfare, so the staring thing is pretty serious. On the rare occasions that i go out(5 times in 7 yrs)I often use the 'staring out' reaction until they start to panic. People who don't know, will often say you are being paranoid, but we have ways of proving that it is us that they are looking at. After researching it, i've come to a couple of conclusions. 1. We are just animals in a state of nature. Animals are in constant competition and will always challenge eachother in order to establish a pecking order. Horses bite and kick, humans stare in order to find out who is on top. 2. Humans have evolved a simple 'threats for dummies' way of figuring out what is a danger and what isn't. Something that is a threat will give off certain simple signs, such as 'watching behaviour', head turning, shiftiness and generally showing that you are aware that someone is staring. When most of us on this blog go out, we send out these signals, especially the one where we watch others to see if they are watching us. Believe me, humans are hard wired to pick up on that particular behaviour, because it also happens to be a thing that predators do, when they are beginning an attack. You might not know it, but more likely than not you are giving off this exact 'give'. People have evolved to spot those who are not preoccupied with other things. It makes them think, hang on, he's thinking about something different to everybody else here, maybe he's a threat. 3. Lastly, when you start to think that you might look weird, that feeds back to your actually body language. Again, nature is really clever and has evolved a mechanism so that people who feel weird, will look weird, we actually tell people how to judge and react to us. Probably totally rubbish, but that's my explanation. Next time you're out, do you best to be totally busy and involved in what you are doing. Once the watching and being concerned part of your behaviour vanishes, then so will the signals and people won't stare.

Anonymous said...

I'm above average looking but not cocky, I think that's rude and everytime I'm around my family, they are always staring at me. It's so annoying. I was eating dinner at my mom's house last week and I could feel her eyes just staring at me. So I look over at her because she was sitting a few feet away and she's touching her chin, her head is raised slightly high up and eyes squinted. WTF! This is my mom! So it scared me and I'm pretty sure my eyes widened and I look away. Then a few seconds later she is still in the same pose and I stare back but I looked away and my sister looked at me then looked at her and our mom's face expression completely changed and she smiled at my sister. I'm almost 28 years old and she has always just stared at me for years! My older sis stares at me too. Does she have something to prove to me? My mom and I don't get along much anyway. And I was at her house on Mothers Day talking on the phone to my other sister and my mom was staring at me the whole time and when I looked at her she looked away and then when I looked away she started staring at me again. This is so annoying! It's like she's judging me or something so when people stare at me i get self conscious but don't really act it. They can all screw themselves because staring is rude!!

Anonymous said...

People stare at me because I'm ugly. I have been all my life and I know it. I've never had to guess about this. Just bad genetics and what's left after surgery for a cleft palate. Meh. How I looked has actually served me well over the years (I know I excel at my job because I'm good at what I do, I've never had anything less than a true friend, all my boyfriends have been honest and sweet, etc. etc.). Most people cannot imagine the cruelty I've endured. The staring thing is most certainly one of the most pervasive and cruel things people do though. People who stare are like birds trying to peck to death the "weakest" of the brood. Jealousy, finding one intimidating or attractive has nothing to do with it. They are horrible, rotted souls and need to hurt to feel superior. This is our society and a little research on suicide statistics proves it. My advice to those who have also been deemed "unfit" for society is to be thankful that you are; That you can experience joy as a human and are not limited to seeking superiority in the pecking order like a depraved animal.

Anonymous said...

It is 3:30 a.m. and I feel so glad that I found this site about dealing with stares. Ok, a few people now have told me that people stare at me because I look above average. Still, some people stare so rudely. I have been getting stares for a long time. I notice other pretty women, but I feel I get gawked at more than them though some are prettier than me. Maybe it's also because I'm quiet. I am hispanic, and black people are especially rude. They have no shame in staring and staring and staring. I think they are trying to figure out if I'm somehow mixed with their race...though, if I am, it is through the Italian side of my Italian/Native South American mix (from a long time ago somewhere in history). Nobody in my family looks black...but I feel black with all the staring they do. It doesn't help that I attend college in a 'black' town. I also sometimes feel like staying home/not going out. I feel hostility from black women for being attractive and frustration from black men for not being into them. I'm just being honest here. I have a black male neighbor and though he sees that I live with my hispanic fiance, he tries so hard to make eye contact with me...I feel him drilling a hole into my face. I don't want to look because they also throw loud parties and scream out into the street until 2 a.m. I heard them talking about how me and my fiance are more 'Indian' and doing the sound of a Native American dance or something like when you pat your mouth with your hand. I feel like I'm becoming a racist person for these experiences. How do you get people to stop staring and acting rude and disrespectful?

Adelaide said...

Wow, I'm surprised this freaks people out so much. I get stared at, but I'm definitely a person to stare. I like to watch other people and see what people do. It is in no way at all to be harmful or challenge them! I'm surprised people get so upset by this. I mean I try not to stare when I know they notice and they look uncomfortable about it, but I stare at people just because, well I ocnsider it more people watching. I just like to look at people, observe how the walk, how they move. It's interesting to me. I don't at all judge them, and I don't mean to offened people. There could be many people that are just like me and just like to look to see what your doing and then be entertained by you. Plus I like to find all the ways I think people are pretty and sometimes I'll even compliment them on such things. I'm just a people watcher. Ever since I was little I just observe things more than I talk, and I like it. You can find so much about a person, like how they're feeling, sometimes if they've had a happy life or whatever just by watching. Any time someone catches me watching them though I usually catch eyes, smile and look away and move on to someone else. It is in no way, as i've said though, hostile. People have only said something to me once or twice about it. Someone would say "What the fuck are you looking at?" Which made me jump and feel very hurt because I didn't mean to make them upset or make them feel insecure. I was just enjoying the fact that other people were around and watching them. Also, when I catch people staring at me sometimes I'll lock eyes with them and make silly faces or smile and do other things because I just like to assume they aren't being hostile, and if they are maybe starting off nice and silly as I like to be could make them think a little less hostility towards me.

Anonymous said...

I just accidentally stumbled across this blog and wow! I had no idea so many people were so deeply bothered by this. It almost never bothers me when other people stare at me, even if its for a minute or more. I realize that people are staring for a variety of reasons and are thinking a variety of thoughts, many of which have nothing to do with me. If the stare is long I usually throw them a smile and they usually smile back. Especially if they have an angry or snotty sort of look on their face, I usually smile and say "how's it going?" if appropriate. Most of the time people are just thinking something as they idley stare at you and their faces scrunch up or look angry even though they're not. I'm sure many times, I'm also the one doing the staring. And from the above posts that tell of people "staring back" or shouting at people who stare at them, or who avoid all eye contact I have a few revelations. People who look at the ground and avoid all eye contact are unusual and the act of aversion draws attention to yourself. Which explains some of why people might stare. I've caught the stare of someone else before and noticed that they quickly avert their eyes and look nervous and are just having one of those internal conversations of "OMG, why is she staring at me? what was she thinking about? I bet it's my ugly feet? It has to be...etc" and then they look back to see if you are still looking. And it's like OF COURSE I'm looking because some complete stranger is freakin' out because I looked at them.

Anonymous said...

Hi,
My opinion is, some people who stare are just interested/looking but not realising how rude it can be, some people are jealous - you might think 'but of what' - whatever thoughts come to their jealous minds I guess! Personally, I only look at people if I know they cannot tell I am looking, just for my own curiosity - face it, life would be boring if you didn't have a look. Once in my life I used to stare at cute boys...I'm pretty sure now that they were thinking 'what is that wierd girl staring at'. These days I get stared at a lot, some people look at me curiously. It's not unusual, it's normal. The annoying thing is, if you are being stared at, at work - it's not like you can complain to your boss that someone is staring is it? I mean that would sound so childish. And if you were to approach them - you would look like the one being rude! Just beware, there are some total bitches out there! and they pray on weaker/more vunerable and shy people. I can say that from 'years' of experience :0( and now I'm unemployed and depressed.
Thanks - enjoyed reading the blog.

Anonymous said...

I hate it when people sit opposite you on the train (almost on purpose) and have nothing to read and just stare at you. It is so incredibly rude I want to laugh out loud. I don't think I am being paranoid, but I find it an invasion of my privacy to have someones eyes burning through me, especially if they keep on staring. I am a very polite individual with manners (I think) and I make an effort not to stare at others for no valid reason. Why can't others make that effort aswell, and realise that some people just hate being stared at.

Anonymous said...

Wow, most of you people are stupid frikin nuts. So what, people stare. Get over it. I get stared at. Why you hate it so much and find it "rude" people look at you in the first place I have no idea. Plus why be rude back to them and yell at someone. It's stupid. It's this kind of stupid stuff that causes ridiculous unnecessary engagements. It's silly most of you people hate it so much because why care if they're judging you? Why care if they think your ugly, stupid, etc. etc.? It's just silliness. Plus sometimes people just seem to be staring at you and they aren't really. They're thinking or maybe looking at something past you. Why does it matter. Just smile at them, and forget then get on with life. It's no big deal and it's silliness people get so worked up over it.

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Shirley said...

I think people stare at me because they hate me. People are evil, horrible creatures who are filled with hate. Some of them are not satisfied with just staring. A lot of them follow me around! What the hell do these idiots want from me? I'm not the least bit afraid of these dumbasses. I refuse to let anybody make me feel threatened or intimidated. I often confront these jerks and ask them why they are staring at me, and they get scared! These people are cowards. Most of them get really nervous when you confront them. I wish we could lock them up in a small room together so they can stare at each other and bore each other to death!

Anonymous said...

I'm a white guy, 31, very average looking, I do not at all dress to attract attention, etc. There are some section 8 apartments right behind my house and I often use those roads to run errands, etc.

It is only the folks in that apartment complex that stare at me constantly. Even streets with hood rats on the other side of the neighborhood don't stare at all! It is just this apartment complex social group.

It's not just the black folks either, white guys that could be considered "wiggers" (please excuse me but you all know what I'm talking about). Those guys are just as bad, no different at all. Please understand this is not a race thing, it is a social / cultural thing.

I am really good at feeling energy off of other people. If I observe someone for a few seconds I can get an idea of what is going on with them. These people who stare are hollow inside. All I feel in them is emptiness.

I believe that people like this stare because they want to "back you down." It is a macho thing for them to get a quick "one up." It makes them think they are "ballin'" and "gangsta." In bare bones it is a little lift for their ego.

An easy way to diffuse any tension and to take their attempt to "one up" you away from them is to simply give them the "what up" nod where you sharply snap your head up while making eye contact.

This will often make them turn away / break eye contact.

Why does this work? This will first of all show them you are not intimidated (even if you are), it will show them that you can acknowledge them because these people often lack self respect and any acknowledgement from someone else is a lift to them. Think of the people who block the hallways in school while people are trying to get to class, block aisles in stores until you acknowledge them and say "excuse me." They just want attention.

By acknowledging these people it will diffuse tension because there is nothing to take from you now (socially).

You essentially take away the negative aspect and give them a positive boost. They can't get attention in a positive way because their energy is always in a deficit. This is because their subculture is built on fear, which is very negative.

If you feel in your peripherals that they are staring again, look at them and smile, ask them "what's up, how's it going?"

These people feed off of other's fear. If you take fear out of the equation, they have nothing to gain. They might end the stare contest thing, or they might be interested in a friendly conversation.

Even if it doesn't go past them responding with some variation of "'sup." This is a good scenario because I really don't give a damn what their day is like, etc. But, positive energy is at least twice as powerful as negative energy.

To the Hispanic folks, if it involves Black folks and it is clearly aggressive, it may be because of a race/gang war that started out west (southern Cali). There might be local gangs, etc. in your area to be concerned with. I do not want to be alarmist but my advice is to tread lightly and do not become a statistic. As long as you aren't in "the game" you should be fine.

I'm just a dumb ass white guy though.

Anonymous said...

I'm a white guy, 31, very average looking, I do not at all dress to attract attention, etc. There are some section 8 apartments right behind my house and I often use those roads to run errands, etc.

It is only the folks in that apartment complex that stare at me constantly. Even streets with hood rats on the other side of the neighborhood don't stare at all! It is just this apartment complex social group.

It's not just the black folks either, white guys that could be considered "wiggers" (please excuse me but you all know what I'm talking about). Those guys are just as bad, no different at all. Please understand this is not a race thing, it is a social / cultural thing.

I am really good at feeling energy off of other people. If I observe someone for a few seconds I can get an idea of what is going on with them. These people who stare are hollow inside. All I feel in them is emptiness.

I believe that people like this stare because they want to "back you down." It is a macho thing for them to get a quick "one up." It makes them think they are "ballin'" and "gangsta." In bare bones it is a little lift for their ego.

An easy way to diffuse any tension and to take their attempt to "one up" you away from them is to simply give them the "what up" nod where you sharply snap your head up while making eye contact.

This will often make them turn away / break eye contact.

Why does this work? This will first of all show them you are not intimidated (even if you are), it will show them that you can acknowledge them (these people often lack self respect and any acknowledgement from someone else is a lift to them), and it will diffuse tension because there is nothing to take from you now (socially).

You essentially take away the negative aspect and give them a positive boost. They can't get attention in a positive way because their energy is always in the deficit. This is because their subculture is built on fear, which is very negative.

If you feel in your peripherals that they are staring again, look at them and smile, ask them "what's up, how's it going?"

These people feed off of other's fear. If you take fear out of the equation, they have nothing to gain. They might end the stare contest thing, or they might be interested in a friendly conversation.

Even if it doesn't go past them responding with some variation of "'sup." This is a good scenario because I really don't give a damn what their day is like, etc. But, positive energy is at least twice as powerful as negative energy.

Anonymous said...

I'm a white guy, 31, very average looking, I do not at all dress to attract attention, etc. There are some section 8 apartments right behind my house and I often use those roads to run errands, etc.

It is only the folks in that apartment complex that stare at me constantly. Even streets with hood rats on the other side of the neighborhood don't stare at all! It is just this apartment complex social group.

It's not just the black folks either, white guys that could be considered "wiggers" (please excuse me but you all know what I'm talking about). Those guys are just as bad, no different at all. Please understand this is not a race thing, it is a social / cultural thing.

I believe that people like this stare because they want to "back you down." It is a macho thing for them to get a quick "one up." It makes them think they are "ballin'" and "gangsta." In bare bones it is a little lift for their ego.

An easy way to diffuse any tension and to take their attempt to "one up" you away from them is to simply give them the "what up" nod where you sharply snap your head up while making eye contact.

This will often make them turn away / break eye contact.

Why does this work? This will first of all show them you are not intimidated (even if you are), it will show them that you can acknowledge them (these people often lack self respect and any acknowledgement from someone else is a lift to them), and it will diffuse tension because there is nothing to take from you now (socially).

If you feel in your peripherals that they are staring again, look at them and smile, ask them "what's up, how's it going?"

These people feed off of other's fear. If you take fear out of the equation, they have nothing to gain. They might end the stare contest thing, or they might be interested in a friendly conversation.

Even if it doesn't go past them responding with some variation of "'sup." This is a good scenario because I really don't give a damn what their day is like, etc. But, positive energy is at least far more powerful than negative energy.

Anonymous said...

I've got a semi-solution that gives me some satisfaction and leaves the 'starer' feeling stupid.

The next time you even feel someone is staring at you -- 'scratch' your head with your middle finger so that they can see it. If they Were staring they'll feel like they were caught (their own guilt) by you giving them a subtle 'finger'. But if they weren't staring, then you were just innocently scratching your head.

Another scenario I used in my car at a stop light where I felt like the guy in the SUV next to me was possibly staring at me. I flipped a bird just above my gear shift. If he was staring then he would have caught the bird :) But I was careful NOT to look at him at anytime -- That would change the whole scenario and trigger him to follow you or something even More dangerous.

Just subtle 'fuck you's' to these idiots that are effective yet preserve your dignity and self-respect.

They're just caged baboons, locked into boring, stupid lives. :) Good Luck All

Anonymous said...

i get stared at by these old guys at the mall for some reason and it makes me really annoyed, i am 38 and these old guys are old enough to be my grandfather, lol! Also little kids stare at me too. I don't know why, hmmmm. I do have social anxiety so made that makes the situation worse.

Emash said...

Thanks for this blog. Everyone here facing same problem. I have this problem, Some people at my school stare at me everyday even tho we are in same class. I feel so embarrass because all my friend can see that the person is staring at me. Its makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like to tell that person, talk to me if you want but don't stare at me. I will be your friend but just don't stare. Its been one and half year I can't figure it why they stare at me??

Anonymous said...

actually to the hispanic girl (your roots are "black") and to the white guy, please stop making black people your scapegoat group. I am white and have noticed that Black people actually get stared at most often. It is so annoying to hear people blaming an entire group for the actions of a few. when ever someone stares at me, I look up at them to checka nd then i ignor ethem. people hate being ignored instinctively, Unless you feel that you are in danger just ignore and pretend that the person does not exist by focusing on something else. this is quite effective when on the train.

Anonymous said...

I go through this alot. It is very annoyimg. Especially on public transportation. PPL have nothing better else to do than to stare. Go read a book or look at the ads thats what they are there for. People get a fucking grip. I live in new york city and i have seen some crazy shit. why are ppl so bored. This is how ppl get killed. People like that need to just die and I am serious.

Anonymous said...

i know right! i hate the feeling! i'll be chillin and minding my own business like a normal person. then some girls just stare at me for no reason. there a million people everywhere why look at me gosh so creepy lol.

iremia said...

i admit it, i stare sometimes. when i do it's not to be disrespectful. if we make eye contact, i'll smile. i love looking at people in all their variety. if you catch me staring at you its because i love your eyes, your nose, your lips, i think you're beautiful. i wonder if your nose ring hurt to get, is that tattoo real it sure is neat, how'd you get your hair to stand up like that, wow i wish i had the bollocks to dye mine that color or you just remind me of someone. sometimes i'm casting you. your face is exactly what i think a character in a book would have or in a story i'm writing. no disrespect nothing creepy. it's just for some reason or other i think you're way cool :)

Anonymous said...

Seriously! I thought I was the only one who felt this way. :)
I can relate to a lot of the comments up there, especially to the girl who mentioned she looked half-Asian and that stupid people look at her to try to guess her nationality, lol. I feel like people do that to me too.

But more than that, I hate those girls who hang around in cliques of 3-4 and who stare at me with big, stupid grins on their faces. A lot of times I think they even giggle to each other about me! I've been told that I'm pretty, but I look in the mirror and just think I'm average -- but I don't think I look so amusing that people need to stare! I dress like the average person and try not to make myself look conspicuous, and I hate attention.
Yet somehow, it STILL happens, and when I catch them staring at me the person is usually either smiling or giggling (but in a mean, making-fun-of-you kind of way), or have a mean look on their face.

I just don't get it!! But I'm glad to know that I'm not alone.

Anonymous said...

I am facing this problem since one year and 11 months. Its so weird when I tried to talk to her, she totally ignore me and rest of time she stares at me.

Now I have decided if she stares at me, I will wave at to her or I will give smile.

I don't mind to be her friend but I want her to stop stare at me as I get distract by her. I just want her to talk if she want to.

Anonymous said...

People always stare at me (male and females alike). I know why, too. I'm very ugly. I have bad skin. I have noticed that white women are the worst. I feel as though they cringe when they look at me; that I creep them out. It happens everywhere I go: banks, stores, restaurants; with the neighbors, etc, etc. Its awful. You know. Its not like I'm asking them on a date or to sleep with me, heck, even marriage. I don't go out or socialize. I just do my thing (work, work out, avid cyclist) and keep a very low profile. Case in point: Hours ago (tonight)I accompanied my father to the airport to pick up my mom. She traveled with my sister, niece, niece's teammate and the teammate's mom. When the passengers entered the terminal my father and me went to greet our family. As I said hello to my niece I felt someone staring at me. When I looked up I noticed that my niece's friend was staring at me as though I was the elephant man- for the longest time. I felt cold sweat running down my body. I then walked away. Here I am a grown man being obliviated by a 12 year old girl. I thought to myself, man I know I'm ugly but I must be uglier than I thought. Give a guy a break. I was cordial to her and her mom (strangers) and then I get this. It happens all the time. It sucks. I have missed out on so many beautiful things in life due to my condition: the high school proms and dances, the dating, clubbing, the Las Vegas trips, the socializing, romances, good jobs, friendships and most of all: just being normal. My life is garbage. People have made it worse by staring. I know they mean well but they have damaged me so much. My brother asked me to be in his wedding and I declined. I remember crying like a little baby all night that day. My brother's fiance' and her sisters are all very, very attractive and very well educated (top universities). I've caught them at family gatherings staring at me. You can see in their eyes that I totally creep them out. I've never done anything to them or said anything to them but say hello and be cordial. It just pains me when I say hi to them only to see them look away while they mutter hello to me. It hurts me so much inside. I have one foot in the grave. I'm at the end of the line. Happy New Year to all.

Anonymous said...

Every girl in my grade stares at me. it used to be 1/4 but that percentage has gone up to 3/4!

As far as I am concerned there is nothing wrong with me.
Even the upper grades and some of the boys are getting into it...

Anonymous said...

I have this problem and Ive been having this issue for about 2.5 years. Wherever I go people stare at me, I go to a big University to it is really hard to walk around or go to classes because I get the stares from guys, girls, even teachers or just people in the street, at restauarants, just everywhere. I think it makes my friends uncomfortable also and some of them wonder why people stare at me, Ive talked to some of my closest friends about it and they have noticed this. It has gotten to the point that sometimes I dont want to go outside or I spend an insane amount of time getting ready in the morning to avoid the stares. I have noticed that if I go above and beyond and my hair is perfect and wearing a very nice outfit so that I look extremely attractive people do not stare, but this is a lot of effort and honestly I cant always pull it off. Most of the time I have to revisit the mirror multiple times a day because if I notice people staring I know that there is something off.
I have gotten the impression that it is because of my hispanic look and if I do not conform to a very polished, wealthy appearance I get these stares because I dont look like everyone else around here. Also if I dont dress in a very stylish manner I feel as though I get stares even though I see nerds walking around and they dont seem to get stared at the way I do. I also am trying to figure out why this has started recently, I think I was more confident before and had a mean demeanor so people did not stare out of fear even though they would glance. Nowadays I look timid so I think people feel as though they have the right to stare. Usually very pretty girls stare in the meanest ways when I dont look "up to par" and they do it for a long time, this is really destroying my self esteem...

Anonymous said...

Why Do People Stare Into Someone House To Steal see a Naked Body What?

Anonymous said...

LOLL.. i no wer u comin frm. i used 2 feel really insecure abt it..esp on the train cos it would be 4 a long period of time bt now i js take it as a compliment. ur prbly pretty thats y they may look in envy or even jealousy. Don't show them that it bothers you otherwise they'll keep doing it. Best thing 2 do is look back at them when they least expect it, they'll get shook and feel awkward.

Anonymous said...

To the guy who posted on January 1st, if you're actually going to come back here and read this...you need to go on and live your life.

Never refer to yourself as ugly but just as you, be confident as **** and ignore everything that comes your way. Not to belittle your situation as it will probably get you down over and over again, but not forever.

The worst thing that could happen is that people will say the following behind your back, "that guy is unattractive but I really respect him", and you can tell those people to **** off as well.

As for me, I've been dealing with this problem for a while too. Unfortunately, I dress like a bit of a goof and am growing out my hair, which currently looks like s***. Lots of folks staring, and hilarious bemused looks, always from attractive women. I figure they assume they're better than me, or perhaps I'm not pulling off the look which I'm going for. (I'm male, btw).

My theory is that they see me from a distance and look away, with the intention of taking another quick look up close. Apparently I look good from afar, and hilarious up close.

Ah what fun. It gets under my skin though, it's simply disrespectful. Like anyone else in this world, I fight bloody hard for who I am as a person, it's horrifying that sometimes random glances can take that away.

On the other hand, if you think about this sort of thing, it will happen 10x more often.

Anonymous said...

Glad you posted this and I find myself in the same situation as another reader, I am the one who does the stareing, why I believe it has to do with my past life experiences,I was heavely involved with Drug trafficing and I always neede to see all around me so I am left with the overwhelming situation of my past that hunts me today and I find myself not looking at you but stareing and it feels bad but I try very hard to fight the action and now when I see a very atractive lady instead of looking at her I stear and that sucks.

some random guy said...

To anonymous of January 1,

I know how you feel. I pretty much have the same problem, but I think to a much more serious degree. It has really debilitated me and goes far beyond just imagining things or being able to "just have confidence in yourself" as most people seem to think and suggest.

Right now, I'm just trying to take it day by day and take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone in this.

As a form of inspiration and motivation, I like to watch this video from time to time,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-MkIKe9Mgw

she has it much more worse than any of us but somehow she manages to be incredibly confident and plesent as a person -- something I hope I'll find within myself to achieve one of these days...

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

I have the strange people in my class named stare and boog. Boog likes to stare when shes pickin her boogs and stare just likes starin at us for no reason. I know we're gawgus but lawd take a picture honey! Bertha likes to stare too. She just wants a big mac like us but its okay..poor bertha.. Yall ALL need boog and sonya in your life, but mostly boog. Id like to thank them all for teachin me how to stare so well. Next time they stare we go O.O -sniiff- but they cause us to do it so they can go pick their boogs togetha. Gangsta.. -sniff- peace out O.O -sniff- may boog be with you :D

Person said...

Stares meant one thing when I actually realized I was very attractive. I often got a lot of stares from people, and I didn't usually mind. In fact, as an insecure and naive young woman I invited it; most of my life I had been rather ordinary and unappealing. (At least I don't pretend that I didn't enjoy being regarded as attractive, even if it was a fallacious ego boost.)

Now that I am back to "ordinary", I don't even think about encountering or eliciting stares when I'm out in public. I can't say I would acknowledge it unless the intent was markedly creepy. I am adept at ignoring while remaining vigilant.

Anonymous said...

WOW! You took the exact feeling I have about this situation and put it in the perfect words! I feel like doing more than eye gouging to some people because sometimes they don't only stare. sometimes they get too close or touch or do some creepy smile...I'm 1000% (yes I meant 1000) with you on this!

52608 said...

I absolutely know what you're talking about! It sucks not to know why people are staring at me! I hate it when I'm just walking around like normal and i look at someone and they're looking straight at me and I feel like the're laughing at me. It happens at church, the store, with people I have never met before. I look at my self in the mirror and see nothing wrong with my face but it seriously kills my self esteem because I hate going to public places like restaurants, school, the mall or even just outside! I always have just wanted to ask my boyfriend, or just a close family member, if there's something wrong with me, but I'm embarrassed. I'm also embarrassed of going out with anyone else because I feel like they'll be embarrassed of being with me. I hate meeting new people or just looking at people straight. I try not to pay attention to it but it bothers me so much! I know it shouldn't because it doesn't matter what people think about me but it DOES bother me. A LOT. I didn't start noticing this until now like a couple months ago. I don't remember this happening to me before. I sometimes think that I'm ugly or I have a big head or there's something wrong with my face but I look at my self and see NOTHING wrong with me. I have a baby so that's what keeps me going and not caring about what others say because I love him and i hope when he gets older he knows i do love him & he'll love me too.

Alice said...

Just think of it this way: they're either jealous of you because you can walk around worry free and they're stuck feeling like shit or ( and if they actually go out of their way to stare--harshly) they're insecure about themselves and need to bring someone else down to feel good. Here is another one. They probably stare at you because they may not like you. I know, they DONT know who you are, yet they still dislike you. Only excuse for that is they feel threatened, and not physically or anything, more like you look better than them or you're better than them in a certain area, and they feel as if you're going to take their position away. Sounds ridiculous, but thats humans--same with animals ( I think, right?) So, play around with them. Say some random shit to them and then walk away; say something rude when they walk by. What ever you do DO NOT SMILE at them. Let them know that they fucked up BIG TIME and hopefully they get the message and stop. Also, if you're not that kind of person...then just ignore the HELL out of them, show them no reaction and act like they can NEVER faze you.

=)

Alice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alice said...

A few of you think black folks in general have the starring problem. I'm African-American/Black and I don't stare how you describe it (hint, hint...my post above). So, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop grouping ALL of us because people will start to get the wrong idea.

"wiggers"
BTW, No matter how much you try and sugar coat it--still offensive, but you're anger is understandable.

Anonymous said...

WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT !!!!!!


No, seriously it has been an interesting read. There are many reasons why people stare.

1. they are insecure

2. they are threatened by your presence.

3. they find you attractive.

4. they want to say hello to you (even though you might find it hard to)

5. they want to intimidate you so that you leave. (don't ever leave because of intimidation, this would mean that they have won.

6. They want your attention and don't like the fact that other people look at you too. (don't give it to them, if this be the reason, they are losers and are power suckers, just stay away from them)

7. they are wanting to copy your clothes - watch them a couple of days later - they are probably wearing the same colour !!! These are people whom cannot know themselves very well as they just want to copy everyone else.

8. you may bring change to the area and people are scared of this (however, they will just have to deal with it as normal cannot survive without change as change cannot survive without the norm.

9. In their eyes, you are different, (this is their problem not yours)

Solutions: -

1.smile
2.say hello.
3.Don't look their way (if you don't want to see them staring)
4.look straight ahead (if you don't want to give any attention)
5.look above the heads (if you don't want to give any attention or notice the staring)

6.ask them "Is there something I can do for you, I noticed you looking at me" If they say they wasn't, then the likely hood is they won't do it again. It is better to confront it head on in a polite manner like this rather than go through months of intimidation. If you let all this happen it is likely to continue throughout your life. Life is a learning curve when we face issues head on, they don't tend to come back again.

7. If there is fear around this person - take some time to lay down and breath at home. Think about this person as you are breathing and think about if it is connected to any part of your body. This person may remind you of someone or something that happened in an earlier part of your life, this may require councelling depending on what it is.

I hope this has been helpful - I have found it helpful all though I don't think being aggressive helps as this is sometimes what people want to see from you. They know you are a peaceful person and stare because they want a reaction.
Its best just to smile and walk on and don't involve yourself in these peopl'es life if you can help it.

lee said...

Omg I hate this! Even earlier today, I was i in walmart and I was waiting in line with 2 old guys behind me. About 6 ft away, anyways, since I started checking out putting my stuff on the counter, till swiping my card, I could FEEL one of them just staring at me. I was getting pissed inside. So I looked to see if he was looking at me, sure enough ... he turned his eyes away like a coward. I continued, then looked at him and said "what are y'all staring at?" And the lady at the counter said "what?" And I said "They keep staring at me" and she said "you'll be ok, you'll be fine",

I think people really don't speak up about this. Well today I woke up in a bad mood, which doesn't happen too often. But the last thing a 24 year old man wants is a creepy non expressional old man staring at him for no apparent reason.

Why people do this? I think its cause they are unhappy with themselves. And have Nothing better to do than stare at an unsespected person. Either they envy them or wish their life was better. They Probably are not bad people though, but the frustration will always be there. Just move on

realchix001 said...

yeah i just went to get a cup of juice in my boyfriends house and i got starred at and usually like the last time i also got starred at by on of the same when i was putting something in the fridge it was like they ere right beside me and looking right at me i cant bring myself to do anything about it

lee said...

Yea but women always get stared at its cause of your looks. But even I don't stare at women, they're probably sick and tired of it.from creepy desperate men

Anonymous said...

I lived for a couple of months in a Jewish orthodox area in the north-east of UK. Bensham, in Gateshead. I initially though it was fascinating. One night, I got to see their Purim festival from my window. Young people got all dressed up, and wondered the streets in gangs, smoking, shouting, drinking and even vomiting on the streets for the whole festival's weekend.. I thought it was interesting to see such thing in a community that otherwise look totally uniformed. But I cannot describe you how unconfortable I generally felt been stared all the time by pretty much everyone there (kids and adults) when daily passing through the area. That sort of stares that follow you. At times you'd seen them whisper to each other or even giggling at your passage. I thought maybe they've never seen a bycicle and were wondering what it was that i was riding. Maybe it's a sort of community strategy, to make any outsider feel unconfortable so that they eventually leave the area - which i happily did. Someone call their stares the "Jew Eye"..some sort of powerful, paranoia inducing supernatural power. I think it was just rudeness. I totally understand where they are coming from in terms of history. I was taught to respect jew people at school and i still do. I know some jew people, not orthodox and they are OK! Yet what i've felt in Gateshead was really confusing and difficult to make sense of.

Anonymous said...

What bothers me the most about all of this is that too many people place the blame of these incidents on the one being stared at. It's insulting to read comments like "Stop wearing make-up, stop dressing so nice...etc"
People should be allowed to go wherever they please and not be objectified, regardless of how they look. Consent & respect matter at all times. The responsibility of this issue lays on those who lack the self-control to not stare at other people. I mean come on, its one of the oldest lessons in the book that our mothers teach us: It is RUDE to stare!

Anonymous said...

This happens to me on a daily basis. I'm black decent and I normally get stares from men/women, young/old of the same race. I have a light complextion, slim body, I have natuarlly long hair(no weave/extentions) and I wear casual clothes. The stares I get are sooooooo annoying!! Especially when they stare with a neutral expression which makes me very nervous. Would it kill to crack a smile? I've learned to just roll my eyes and turn my head away and just ignore them.

Anonymous said...

Well, this is a pet peeve of mine. I can't stand people staring at me. I live in Europe, but come from North America. It's rude in North America, to stare, but not here. While thinking that I might be paranoid, I've conducted a few small experiments to check a theory out. Positioning myself in a place where I am basically concealed, but can see the general public move about, I have noticed that there are a significant number of people who simply.....stare! Haven't tried this in the States yet, but here, some people are intent on observing other people, but to what end I don't know. So now I know people are gonna stare no matter what and the best way to combat this is to just ignore people. Give the obligatory glance, to make sure someone isn't going to run into you, and then completely (and I do mean COMPLETELY) act as if they aren't even there. Ignoring someone can be construed as a higher form of insult, and that's what I'm shooting for. A buddy of mine, who thought I was full of shit (and who claims that he loves people staring at him), agreed to do what I had done, but with me as a subject. He positioned himself where he could watch as I passed by (inside of a cafe works great for this). He agreed, people stare at me. But he thinks I should bask in the glory of someone who people like to look at. I just think it is rude!

Anonymous said...

I had a similar situation today on the train. (I live in New York City). A guy looked at me pissed as i walked in. I ignored him and sat down. Later in the window's reflection, i saw him watching me still looking pissed as hell. I told my friend silently to glance at the guy to make sure there was no trouble. The guy looked away. My stop came and as my friend and I left, i saw in my peripheral vision that he was watching me pissed as hell. WTF is that all about? Im a guy too, so thats not a good sign. He wanted a fight, and my ignoring him saved me.

Tony leong said...

Why is bad to stare at people when people is talking

Anonymous said...

this happened to me on the bus today he had his arms folded and staring.so i stared back and he looked down at the floor.And then he did it a couple of times he only stopped when i looked away and laughed.
do you think he stopped because i showed him i was not intimidated?

Anonymous said...

He probably looked away because he realized you're not taking shit from him. Just be careful when you stare back, it is dangerous to engage in their game sometimes. Its best to just look away and ignore them. I know its hard, but thats the only way to solve this problem. Surviving is more important than this macho bullshit, proving im a man and all that tough guy crap. Believe me, people have been killed just because of the staring game. Its okay to look back and fight back, but be cautious. Your life could be at risk.

Tashaar'J said...

Well atleast i know why i get stared at..

Im 14 and i have the hugest nose on the planet :) But i guess i just deal with it :/

Anonymous said...

P.S. THE WORLD FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!AND PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK!!!!!!!!!!THIS WORLD WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER OFF WHEN THE HUMAN RACE DIES THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!

Tekki said...

Staring is not a problem, what they think after staring is worst than that. :D

Anonymous said...

I also googled this exact topic and came across this discussion. I was just stepping outside my front door to get a pizza and was waiting while the delivery guy called to check with his boss that I had already paid, and there was a group of 4 people walking across the street just STARING at me. BLATANTLY. All of them. I consider myself to look "normal" and was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, so have no idea why they kept STARING. Is someone standing with a pizza outside their door for 2 minutes THAT interesting? Whatever the reason for staring, its just downright rude.

Anonymous said...

I know this an old blog but I thought it was interesting. Well, I look at people because I'm an artist and love to draw faces. I also find both attracted and unattractive people interesting to look at. But I try not to be obvious. I don't like to make eye contact much with people because I'm not looking for a fight. So I tend to just give short glances. Unless, I find someone attractive. Then I'd like for them to notice me.

Anonymous said...

My opinion is people are some what like dogs...you see how dogs sniff the butt? But after they have done so they do it no more because they have checked it out they have fullfilled their curiousity. If u were to see someone naked ur brain will automatically trigger curiousity so u will glance at the privates but look away or cover ur eyes. You have seen it, u checked it out, you kno what it is. But you cannot figure a person out with a glance, a look, or stare. Some peoples curiousity will eat @ them...producing the stare. Its def not cuz ur ugly, non-attractive people will be looked @ but not stared at. Attractiv, kool, standout, suspicious interesting, stylish people will be stared at, example...their are 8 women in the group..1 is attractive 1 is not...the rest are regular average girls..the attractive woman will be stared at obviously...hated...intimidated by ...the non attractive one will be looked @ but not stared at..posed as no threat. My best advice is never stare back becuz u may lose and get killed. You can stare someone down unless u kno u have the upper hand. If you dont have it in you to stare someone down, when u go out focus on ur business, dont look around everywhere like a dummy n dont be a bigger dummy with ur face in the cellphone, all ur doin is bowin down to people...walk with ur chin up straight ahead ..look n glance kno ur surroundings. Next when u feel people are starring use ur perripherals...make aware they are starring....do not look just confirm..people seek attention by starring..what I am going to tell u is the real technique. They want ur attention, do not get mad take it as a compliment...say to urself wow im the shit look how they look at me they love me n hate me.. Whn people love u some will hate u. Now when they stare cuz they hate u this is the real technique for those stares this will work always, give u a sense of revenge...like ooooo right in ur fucin face...i love it...walk head up...kinda mean look...Do not look at them dont even acknowledge their exsistence or presence....again use peripherals..confirm the stare.....do not look or pay any attention to them...like who? I didnt even see them ...i saw right through them...this will piss them the fuck off...they will feel like shit have them saying who do u thnk u are?? U think ur better than me ?? U wont even look @ me?? Obviously becuz ur starin at me!...ive been studyin this human behavior since I was born, ill follow up on this tommorow im on my smartphone I need a keyboard questions comments email me mrjonathanvasquez@gmail.com

Shirley said...

Why do these people stare so much? Are they retarded? Is staring the only thing they know how to do??? There is obviously something very wrong with these morons. I feel sorry for them. Most of the people who stare are very ugly, which makes me think they are jealous of me. These staring idiots don't deserve to be treated nice. They are rude, so I am always rude back to them. I flip them the bird, I glare at them, I stare back at them. We need to let these sad, evil creatures know how much we hate them and we are not gonna put up with their sh*t.

Spunky Amber said...

i have the same problem..i have no idea ppl just like to stare when they see something unusual i guess...but its so annoying when they stare..

Anonymous said...

Hey :) Yeah , was searching this topic online and saw your blog :) seems kind of scary , but it happened to me before too :) I think the best would be not to stare at them when they are staring at you because they might think that you are challenging them . And unless you want trouble , you should never challenge anyone lols. For me , if I see someone staring , i would look at them like few seconds and turn away to pretend i'm doing something else but i will still make sure that he dosen't do anything funny. Just that i try not to make any eye contact.
Anyway , sometimes i stare at people without myself knowing too. Most of the time is because I find them attractive or because they remind me of someone. Recently, I started in a new class and had to make new friends. SO I had this cute guy sit beside me , and because he reminded me of one of my friends so I stared at him more then i'm suppose to. And i guess he was pretty unhappy about it. Although I didn't mean to. But i guess it was my fault. I hope everything turns out well .

Anonymous said...

Well. I guess it is normal to stare ?
I guess some people just have nothing better to do. They are probably stoning , or they are just people watching and all. I don't know 0.0 I kind of like to look at people when they walk past. Especially people who are from my school or something .
But I know when to stop staring lols. I sure don't want any trouble. And i guess it is kind of creepy if people see you staring at them and all you can do is look away real quickly. Sometimes people just do it sub consciously . Maybe they don't even know they are staring and just doing what they normally do and dont know that it is weird to stare?

Anonymous said...

maybe you look like someone that owes them money

Anonymous said...

i stare. its not cause i dont like someone, or think they look funny (well sometimes..) but unless they look familiar and i just cant think of who or their incredibly attractive, i dont intentionally stare. I just sometimes have no where else to look or im lost in my thoughts and not really watching where im looking. they might have been in an incredibly bad mood and noticed you kept looking at them so they were intrigued.

DavidDavid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The person looking like they wanted to kill you, now that I've never heard of, and it is creepy.
I don't like when people stare, for I was taught that staring at someone was impolite, but I won't lie, I've stared at people before too. And yes, some of the reasons for my staring were insecurity.

Anonymous said...

I sit in a cube next to a sick bastard who spends his day staring at me. But nobody gets why that would be annoying! I am supposedly just being sensitive! But imagine spending 8 hours a day feeling like your every action was being scrutinized. I put moving boxes between us to get some peace, but he simple stares around the boxes, which means that he is so far away from his computer that now he doesn't do any work. It's been months now! I'm a boring, khakis/polo/ponytail wearing boring engineer. What the hell could be so interesting?

Shirley said...

I keep asking myself "Why me? Why the hell do they have to stare at ME?!" It makes no sense. I have never seen anybody good-looking enough to make me stare like an idiot! Last year, I was talking on a pay phone, and this ugly creature came over and started staring at me! This has happened to me more than once. What's the deal here? Have these jerks never seen a pay phone before??? I walked into a bookstore, and this stupid bitch stared at me like I'm the most shocking thing she has ever seen! What in the world is wrong with these horrible people? I'm afraid one of these days I will lose my violent temper and hit somebody as hard as I can.

Anonymous said...

Hi, im a 29 year old guy, who is latino mix, 5'5, 150, athletic body. People say im cute, but im just average. Anyhow, at work i find this guy coworker staring at me. I honestly dont like it, it makes me feel insecure, scared, and afraid to walk up to the front counter almost to the point of getting a panic attack. This guy is like 6'4, 250, muscular, very intimidating. Ive caught him staring, but he always looks away and looks back, it honestly makes me mad. I avoid going inside as much as possible because he is there. Im probably paranoid about th staring, but why does he stare, im not a girl.

Anonymous said...

Hi, im a 29 year old guy, who is latino mix, 5'5, 150, athletic body. People say im cute, but im just average. Anyhow, at work i find this guy coworker staring at me. I honestly dont like it, it makes me feel insecure, scared, and afraid to walk up to the front counter almost to the point of getting a panic attack. This guy is like 6'4, 250, muscular, very intimidating. Ive caught him staring, but he always looks away and looks back, it honestly makes me mad. I avoid going inside as much as possible because he is there. Im probably paranoid about th staring, but why does he stare, im not a girl.

Anonymous said...

Same with me also..
I just want to say
I JUST HATED WHEN PEOPLE STARE AT ME LIKE THAT! -__-

FUCK YOU

YOU FAIL

GET A LIFE

._.

Anonymous said...

I've been in a class for 3 months with this woman & she stares @ me all the time. She's around my age (late 20's) so I know she knows staring is impolite & downright rude. I dress & act normally. The stares r mostly inquisitive, as if she wants 2 get 2 know more about me. These r the things that bother me: she sits right in front of me, talks 2 just about every1 else in class, and isn't the type to be shy nor intimidated by any1, yet she doesn't speak to me very often (except to say hi & bye), she just stares at me. I know she's staring cuz when I look up, she looks away, but other times she'll continue to stare at me deeply. Sometimes she stares at me so intensely that it makes me feel awkward. Why? I'm seriously confused as to why she won't simply speak to me instead of staring at me. I confronted her about it and she changed somewhat for about a week and a half but after that it seemed to get worse. Now she talks to my friend and it's as if she deliberately leaves me out of the conversation, when she never really spoke to either of us before. What are her true motives here? What can I do about this?

Anonymous said...

People who stare are just ignorant, rude, needy suckers who want attention; They don't care if it's good or bad attention, they just want attention. However, since they're not staring for any reason they can actually justify with a sane explaination, they can't or won't express their sick need verbally. This is because, if they did, they would be shown as the ignorant, rude, needy suckers that they are.

In general, the best tact is to just not stare back. I know it's hard sometimes. But, unfortunately and invariably, the few times I have gotten so sick of it that I've asked them why they are staring, they have always pretended they don't know what I'm talking about and try to make me look like the one that's in the wrong. However, when I've used the word "leering" instead of "staring" in these situations, it has tended to embarrass them more and been more effective.

Anyway, bottom line is, whenever practical and possible, just don't stare back and completely ignore them; That tact leaves them even more dissatisfied with their needy, ignorant selves than they were when they started staring at you.

Peace

Anonymous said...

good comments everybody

I think the worst you could do to people who stare is to be absolutely indifferent to their presence-see right past them (for instance, pick a point in the distance when you are walking by, and focus you sight on that point)

It's like saying "you are't important enough for me to look at you"

Trust me on this one, if you are having these kind of problems

Cheers

Rich said...

I find this subject very interesting.

From my experience also I have had people stare at me when walking through town, it tends to be people sitting down and idle - and just sitting around like retards staring at people. It fucking pisses me off because it is rude and I wanna scream in their god dam face.

On the other hand - I realised when I went to Holland, New York and other places abroad, people don't even look at you!! I think we more retarded, insecure people in this country or something or I just fit in better in another country lol. I mean even when I went on the Sub way in New York (where u expect people to stare at each other all the time) - NO ONE looks at you.

I think also in England (I am british btw) you have arrogant cunts who are obsessed with looking like faggots, it's pathetic.

I have relatives in Slovenia and there again no one stares at you and everyone is more genuine and sincere over there.

I think personally think a lot of british can be cold cunts who need to stop being so selfish :)

Anonymous said...

everybody does it, maybe your the one whos insecure, who the hell wants to gouge someones eyes out for staring at them?

Shirley said...

You stupid, ignorant idiot! What the hell do you mean everybody stares? That is bullshit. Us decent, civilized, intelligent people have busy lives, and we don't have time to stare at people. The jerks who stare are retarded losers like you who have no life. There is nobody for me to stare at in the city where I live, because everybody is fat and ugly! I can't stand the sight of them. They make me sick. I feel nauseous every time I see them staring at me.

Anonymous said...

The problem itself isn't actually being stared at - it's the attitude and behavior people pair it with when or after they have stared at you. Some no-brainer examples would be having a couple people throwing shifty eyes at each other all the while gawking at you. Or when they they stop talking around you and just fixed their eyes at you as you walk by.. then as you leave they break into a jeering whisper and sometimes even laughter would follow.

In some cases, perhaps it is inevitable to stare at or to judge people, yes ; perhaps the person who was being stared at was talking on the phone loudly, so making a lot of noises and disruptions, and such. But when you're a normal person like me and you're just trying to get through your daily life, it's downright awful to have people give you scornful stares, remarks and such.

Anonymous said...

I have the same problem, people stare at me all the time. I hate it. Some will stop everything that they are doing, just to watch what I am doing. Literally turn around and pause. Had a woman do that yesterday; walked into a store with a snow cone in hand, and some lady turned her head to watch everything I was doing and she even read the label on my drink. Really? I think people who do that are mentally ill or have some type of disorder. I felt like doing it back but feared she would like it.

Anonymous said...

"Out Staring Technique" Simply Amazing.

Anonymous said...

Wow I am so glad I found this blog, I was beginning to think I have schizophrenia 9sp?) People give me cold dead stares all the time, esp. women. I'm beginning to think they are aliens and we are under an alien attack, lol. Have any of you seen the movie The Faculty, about an alien invasion at a high school and the opening scene shows all the studens staring at a new student, exactly the way people stare at me.
I guess these creeps get off on making people nervous, or maybe they are trying to read our minds. Maybe we should strike a pose, or look at them and start laughing hysterically. Then again it could be a battle between good and evil, I have faith in God and maybe these people are the devil's footsoldiers. Try doing this, look at them and yell in your mind, "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ!", or say it under your breath but make sure they see your lips moving, or you could form a cross with your fingers and hold it up to them in front of your face. There is definately something very wrong with these people, Good Luck.

Anonymous said...

I could kiss this blog. You have no idea how much I can relate to this. I am so sick and fed up with people staring! I mean the other week I was travelling overseas and eating by myself at a restaurant. Just by myself in a little corner. Some guy came in and sat at another table and stared at me. Then my food came (and NOTHING in this world pisses me off more than when I'm stared at while I eat) and he continued and when I looked at him he smiled and nodded. I would normally never do it but I had had a gutful of people staring at me so I actually got up, moved to the seat opposite me so I had my back to him and turned around with a scowl. I think he got the message. I know I am not paranoid and next person who stares at me I want to say, "stare at me for one more second and I swear I will be the last thing you ever see."

Anonymous said...

The reason is simple. People do always look at each other, but when they see insecure people, they have an incredibly orgasmic pleasure, starting to stare at them like crazy. When people stare at insecure, suspicious people they subconsciously think that they are lucky, and "superior", some average-intelligent people say this is paranoia, but it's not at all. We humans have innately animal behaviours, that is we all are, in fact, psychopaths. As psychopaths, people love judging other miserable people by looks, they are like "radars" to find some people who may be disturbed by being stared at. It's just not about looks, generally the people who don't like being joked or talked about are the constant topic of derision, mockery, and gossips, it just says how evil, and psychopathic genes humans have. I was once obsessed with looks as well, then I just started to not look at anyone. Even if I notice someone looks at me, I give him/her a casual glance, then look away, and to control whether s/he's still looking at me, I look at her/him for the second time, and notice s/he doesn't look at me any more. In short, what I can suggest is you should not look at people, that's the only chance they wouldn't look at you as well. If they still look at you, then maybe your posture is weird. But I assure you that you're not paranoid, you're just suspicious, and for you are suspicious, psychopathic people "detect" you, and have pleasure staring at you for hours as if you're crazy. Just don't look at people at all, so would they not look at you either.

Anonymous said...

Yea, I totally understand how you feel. So I walk to the park, with a small tote bag. And I'm wearing regular clothes, jeans, t-shirts, and sneakers. Along the way, out of my peripheral vision, i notice ppl staring at me as i walk by. It freaks me out. Then like i can hear someone following me cuz of the jingling of the keys. I get so paranoid about stalkers... It makes me so mad!! I rage a lot. Then like i sit down on a park bench and like say hi to my friends, talk, laugh. And then like this creepy old man just stares at us, and im like "WTH are you staring at?!" And when I walk back from the park, the same thing happens...i get stares from people on the street, old ppl, young ppl, babies, male, or female. I'm just a regular teen!! I just feel so paranoid!!!

Anonymous said...

Liked the comments. Had this problem in the past, but almost nothing today, at 30. I"m less sensitive today and myself sometimes stare down these monkeys. And I work with people, so I got to used having stares there and here. Keep doing what you do, we are not really so interesting subjects as we may think sometimes.:)). Kkvv

Shirley said...

I know why these sad retards stare at me. It's because I'm always the only good-looking, intelligent, interesting person in the room! I outshine these losers, and they know it. These staring monsters are all dull, boring, stupid and ugly as hell. They are jealous of me.

Eye magnet said...

I'm a 30 year old white male who suffers greatly from being stared at every time I leave my home. I suspect it happens because I have deep set eyes and prominent brow. This might cause people to think I'm frowning, or maybe they just find me weird looking. Getting stares from both men and women of all ages. When I was younger I used to have social anxiety and lately it has started to come back with full force. Don't really know what to do. Staring back will sometimes cause them stop, but in many cases they just continue, often with amused looks on their faces as if they find pleasure in staring me down. People will often turn their heads as they pass me on the street. The train and the subway are the worst and I have to use them every day. Also the escalators to and from the subway. It's just beyond me how someone can find another person so fascinating that they must stare for several minutes. I've tried all kinds of tactics to cope with this, but at the end of the day it's really starting to get to me. The anger is slowly accumulating and I'm worried I'll lose my temper some day and do something I'll regret. Perhaps all the people in this comment thread should move to the same location and form a community where it's against the law to stare! ;)

Eye magnet said...

This is a follow-up to my previous comment. I'd like to share some of my recent experiences. These last couple of days I've been unusually relaxed, positive and confident. It's been interesting since it has enabled me to observe the way people act around me without my social anxiety being a factor. On numerous occasions have I catched people giving me weird lingering looks. Yesterday when I was walking home from work I noticed that a woman in her thirties was standing and waiting for a green light at a cross-walk. I paid no special attention to her, but she was in my field of vision since I was heading in her direction. Suddenly I became aware that she was observing me intently. Her head was turned 90 degrees so she could face me and as I came closer I saw she looked quite angry. Normally I would have broken eye contact and let her "win" but this time I decided to accept her challenge (childish, I know). Note that I didn't stare back in an obvious, demonstrative way. I just kept looking forwards. When I was about five meters away from her she was still staring at me angrily. At that point I felt a sudden rush of irritation. I returned the angry look which caused her to immediately break eye contact and face away from me. If she hadn't backed down I would have verbally confronted her, and I think she could tell.

Today I went out for a beer with some work mates. Let me just conclude that even when I'm relaxed and happy I apparently stand out enough to warrant one angry staredown, a couple of headturns and numerous lingering sideway looks. All during a 20 minute walk through the buzy streets of a metropolitan area. I know that people can draw attention for any number of reasons, but as I mentioned in my previous comment I suspect it's my deep set eyes and heavy brow that cause people to "lock on" to me. I'd be interested to hear if there are other people with these facial features that also suffer from the same problem.

DavidDavid said...

Eye magnet. Yea bro, I can totally relate lol. I have deep, piercing eyes, deepset, some people are intimidated by me. But the stares never stop coming, If a woman is staring at me, I just may say something to her.. for ex, today on the bus, I could feel this black girl eyeballing me from the corner of my eye, I said "Hey and smiled, by the time came for me to get off the bus, I she looks at me and says, what race are you? I say, 'guess' she says right. The right guess, I said, ehat are YOU mixed with, with a grin, she said black, she told me I was handsome, I was like thanks..I looked at her and smiled like she was cute for attempting to pick me up..This happens almost daily..Men, some dudes just can't stop fucking staring its creepy, I can understand a gay guy, but straight guys do this to me all the time...

I came to an conclusion, we are SO exotic looking, that people just can't help but to bask in our looks..it
Makes them feel good, much like looking at a hot girl makes us feel good, fuck it

Eye magnet said...

Thanks for responding, DavidDavid. I wish I could ignore the stares, but it's easier said than done. I'm considering always wearing sunglasses. Sure, people will stare even more if I wear sunglasses when it's dark outside, but at least I'll regain some level of privacy. Also, with the amount of staring I'm experiencing right now it can hardly get any worse. Might try it on the train tomorrow. If some douche decides to stare me down, I'll put on the shades and take a nap.

Anonymous said...

O MY GOODNESS THIS IS THE TRUEST DISCRIPTION OF HOW I FEEL ABOUT MOST FOLKS HERE WHERE I LIVE,I HAVE MY THEORIES AS WELL AND I THINK THAT BECAUSE AS A SOCIETY OF INTERNET AND TELEVISION VIEWERS WE TEND TO STARE AS IF NO ONE CAN SEE US,SIMILAR TO HOW WE VIEW TV OR SIT AND STARE AT THE COMPUTER SCREEN,I AM A NATIVE AMERICAN AND I HAVE LONG BLACK HAIR...LOL...WALKING EXHIBIT I GUESS...IN ANY CASE I CHOOSE TO SMILE WITH MY EYES AND REMAIN DECENT,I HAD AN AUNT THAT HAD BAD EYESIGHT AS WELL AND SHE ALWAYS LOOKED LIKE SHE COMPLETELY HATED ME,SO I ASKED HER ONE DAY,I SAID AUNTIE ARE YOU MAD AT ME?SHE LAUGHED AND SAID,HUH?NO SHE SAID,I CAN'T SEE YOUR FACE IT'S BLURRY SO I TRY TO FOCUS AND SEE YOR FACE,GOD REST HER SOUL,AFTER THAT I JUST REALIZED PEOPLE HAVE THEIR REASONS AND YOU GOT TO JUST HANDLE YOU AND HOW YOU REACT TO WHAT PEOPLE SAY OR DO...THIS BLOG WAS VERY INTERESTING BY THE WAY

Vikram Lohith said...

I feel both men and women looking at me continously without blinking their eyes for more than 5 seconds or so.. I get really angry and nervous and feel like asking them why they are staring at me? It is alright if they are talking to me or atleast they stare with a smile on their face.. But,now i have understood that i have no control over the external world and people, but i can control my mind.. If i find people staring at me, i ignore them and go about my usual business. Very soon, they stop staring.. So, there are lots of assholes in this world, lets not become one of them.. So, please dont get into staring contests with other people.. Just, ignore them and get on with ur life.. we can control our actions, not others actions..There will always be people who will stare at us..It is not important what others do, it is how we respond to it that is important..So, lets accept this bitter Fact..Hope this helps.. Stop worrying and be happy Friends..:-):-)Your wellwisher.. you can contact me at lohith.vikram@gmail.com will be happy to help..:-)

A.K. Brown said...

I have the same issue with people staring and have actually confronted a number of individuals I've caught staring at me. Usually a curt "Can I help you?" causes a jolt and sends them walking away. I think it's zombieism as odd as that may sound. I used to live in Buffalo and figured it was that hung over state causing the staring. But now in NYC I come across the exact same thing, most typically in residential areas. What ever happened to it's impolite to stare? How do I know these jackasses aren't looking to mug me. Stop with the staring!

DavidDavid said...

This ↑ lol

A.K. Brown said...

Seriously...this is all a byproduct of present-day Zombie-ism, that complete lack of focus people have today completely due to decades of a mass culture dumbing the populace down. Very few people have the capacity to think anymore. Everyone seems to be on autopilot these days. Not exactly what the future was supposed to have been.

Anonymous said...

Wow, the comments section is long-running...
I don't think I have anything really new to add that hasn't been said before. But I would like to say this, as my mother often tells me, stop complaining, be happy that people bother to stare at you because when you're old and lost your looks, no one will bother to stare. You might as well be invisible.

Anonymous said...

Oh and as of late, I actually enjoy some of the stares somewhat. Whereas before, it bothered the hell of out me, now as I'm getting older, I appreciate them. I like it better from women too (no I'm not lesbian) because it feeds me input that they feel insecure. What I see in their faces is sometimes just checking me out/comparing, but more often than not, admiration, not to mention a bit of insecurity. I admit it boosts my confidence and ego.

tired said...

There is an article at wired.com with the title "Why We Stare, Even When We Don’t Want To". Essentially it's a survival instinct with the purpose of detecting potentially dangerous people. An excerpt:

"Humans are highly social animals. Rather than remaining among our family or herd from birth to death, we venture out. We spend our days mixing with great numbers of unfamiliar members of our species.

To do so safely, scientists believe we have evolved a rough screening process. When someone unfamiliar approaches you in the aisle of a grocery store, a glance at his face and its expression helps your brain to sort that person into one of two broad categories: safe or potentially unsafe. The amygdala (the brain area associated with judgment) depends upon the emotion conveyed by the person’s facial features to make that crucial call. Is he happy? Angry? Irritated?

To decide, your eyes sweep over the person’s face, retrieving only parts, mainly just his nose and eyes. Your brain will then try to assemble those pieces into a configuration that you know something about.

When the pieces you supply match nothing in the gallery of known facial expressions, when you encounter a person whose nose, mouth or eyes are distorted in a way you have never encountered before, you instinctively lock on. Your gaze remains riveted, and your brain stays tuned for further information.

“When a face is distorted, we have no pattern to match that,” Rosenberg said. “All primates show this [staring] at something very different, something they have not evolved to see. They need to investigate further. ‘Are they one of us or not?’ In other species, when an animal looks very different, they get rejected.”

And so, we stare. (An averted gaze is triggered in some people. This too can be overridden only with great difficulty.)

It doesn’t take much of a facial anomaly to trigger a transfixed response; a normal human face upside down will do it. Or one that is simply unmoving."

Anonymous said...

It's life. What's been mentioned here. Sometimes people stare because theyre zoned out not even really looking at you but day dreaming. Some people will stare because theyre fucked up for various reasons lol and maybe do want to fight. Maybe you look or remind them of someone they know. Maybe they like your hair, or your clothes, etc. Maybe youre fit and look famous or are good looking. Many reasons. Good looking women would get pissed off because so many of us guys look too much lol.

Anonymous said...

btw ive done it before the '' what the fuck are you looking at '' line lol. And yeah sometimes its been through paranoia. Then you really feel like a dick haha. I just ignore it. Either take it as a compliment and youre good looking or they like something about you or just assume theyre looking at you because theyre a fucking moron lol. Lifes too short. Fuck them.

Anonymous said...

ok. so I am in high school, I am a male, this other student (male) keeps staring at me, in class at lunch time after school. I don't think he hates me, he's quiet, talks to me sometimes like were best friends, but I always catch him staring at me then he looks away. I am a quiet person too, we would be talking then he would leave without saying goodbye.. he always stare at me in class, I feel insecure, then I think he hates me but I don't think he hates me.

Anonymous said...

im not much of the kind of person who enjoys attention, so i too find it annoying when people stare without a good reason. i hate it and even when im in a hurry or minding my ouw business i don't have to look at anyone, but just walk by and they say all kinds of stupid sh*t as if i said anything to them. i mean without a good reason what so ever and it pisses me off, but i ignore them and keep walking cause if they do anything im usually near police locations, so i can call one over if things get out of hand. basically some of those people with a staring problem must have had a bad day and decided to take it out on an innocent by stander. that is why most people who stare are soo damn stupid. then again i have learned to avoid them quite easily. i simply walk by minding my own business and stare straight ahead. doing this makes others think im a stuck up arrogant asshole, but im not i just never have the time for others, so i find it good that they think of me that way. now there are times where some smart ass decided to get in my path and stand there as if their looking for trouble. i had a few of those times and they will just stand there like they expect you to stop too. i just walk around them and if they wont let me past i walk right over them. you know like walking through heavy crowds of people, so every bodies shoulder bumping, but just keep on walking. why should anyone waste their time with some attention whore just because they got a problem?

Anonymous said...

Maaan, did you win a nobel for paranoia????

Anonymous said...

There was a black man with a dog staring right at me from the distance looking right at me with his head slanted slightly, he was paused like that for 60 seconds i new with attitude like that it was to do with my neighbor who i fell out with cos no one else knows me around here and no one has a problem with me apart from the neighbor that i reported to the landlord for her noise and harassment i could of been wrong about why the man was still staring at me in a intimidating manner Anyway i new there was a fret towards me so i went out of my way to him i walked up to this man and got face to face with him smiled gently and said alright mate, He did not look happy and he did not say hello but started acting shaky and walking round talking on his phone, so to make him see im not a fret i called out to my partner and shouted to her the fence looks good from here just needs a bit more work, Then the neighbor opened her window and started to have a long distance conversation with the man that was staring at me that is now standing near me he asked her if she was gonna take a picture of him then they had a Laugh , i was talking to my partner about the nice weather at the same time and before i new it the man had vanished from behind my back and the neighbor closed her window this had all taken place at the back of my flat , Now Liston that man didn't no me but he was intimidating me, i always put a end to a fret strait up its a long story but im not afraid of any devil big or small, but just the way i handled it made him shake and run , like i said he did not me and he still dose not no me , i could of been you ,, are you gonna live in fret or take the ball by the horns, Another reason why the neighbor cant stand me its cos i don't fall for her shit
im brave and godly the only thing that makes my home uncomfortable at times is she is always trying to intimidate me she thinks i will come down to her level but i will never i love my home and family and i love myself, life is good

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